Tuesday, October 31, 2000

Ahem, Paul. I have never punched you in the nose, even though you have deserved it on more than one occasion. As for the tigers, I can only say that a girl says strange things when she's 18 and has just gotten high for the first time.  
posted by Kate at 9:05 AM link/comments

billyjoebob, i can vouch for this: Kate wouldnt hesitate to crawl over bloody, dying children, through a pool of her own filth, and use her dying gasp to punch your nose. i know this because she has done just this to punch my own nose, for far less bad crimes. that is, when she isnt a giggling mess babbling about tigers. it could go either way. you understand. 
posted by Paully at 1:57 AM link/comments

Monday, October 30, 2000

p.s. Kate - you wouldn't punch me in the nose....... you love me. 
posted by billyjoe noodle-bob at 10:13 PM link/comments

i should get the prize for Lamest Way to Spend the Holiday. I got high and played chess with some pretentious medievalist prig who i was sure i was going to beat right up until i lost. ah, well. at least i got high.

sorry i've been away so long. i have, indeed, been working hard. which is why i played so hard. playing chess. that's hard playing. whoo-wee.

in other news, im glad to see people still use the word "lurp." as far as i can remember, kate was the first person i heard say it, but then she told me that i invented it, so i thought, i could have done that. i do things like that sometimes. and you all got the definition down like stink on a monkey.

have to go to class now. transcendentalists rock. 
posted by Paully at 8:00 PM link/comments

hey hey hey i think i should get a prize for "best non appearance by international invitee" 
posted by billyjoe noodle-bob at 6:34 PM link/comments

COntinued updates and input on the Second Annual Shaker-Money-Maker Halloween party.
God, Mike, I'm so sorry.
The winner for most shocking guest goes to the math teacher from my middle school. ONe of those random invitations that you're sure will never amount to anything. (See Holly's post about near miss with Boss Ken.) He showed up drunk which I think is good. Stayed the night, cooked breakfast. Still spoke to me today and even said party was lots of fun. DId not mention the wake-and-bake at all. Thankful for that.

I am still mostly braindead and had very hard time coping with eighth graders today. They are very strange and unruly.

We still have only the three cats that we started the party with so I can't complain. Did anyone get the full story on the transplanted kitty?

I must now go and try to remove some of the stale beer stench from our home. 
posted by Melinda at 5:36 PM link/comments

BILL!!! I'm at work and I've been here all day and I'm working late and if you read this, you NEED to get on ICQ and talk to me, lest I hop the next plane to Melbourne to punch you in the nose. 
posted by Kate at 5:20 PM link/comments

yyaaaaayyyyyyy cleeeavaaaggeeee........ *me makes faceplanting motions* 
posted by billyjoe noodle-bob at 5:03 PM link/comments

yes, Billy, we took a picture of our cleavage; and yes, Billy, we will post it. 
posted by Holly at 2:33 PM link/comments

... And we're back! Here's your glamorous host (*insert wild applause here*)

Under the category of Best Costume with a Drug-Related Theme, I'm ecstatic to present the award to our fellow blogger Holly McCoy, whose self-invented superhero, LSD Girl, confidently portrayed not only her great affection for hallucinogenic substances, but also showed off a respectable amount of cleavage. Honorable mentions in the Cleavage Category go to blogger Melinda Weatherlow-Smith as Viper and *ahem* your humble host.

Experiencing technical difficulties as a result of large work-related crisis. I know you're waiting on tenterhooks, but I'll be back eventually 
posted by Kate at 2:04 PM link/comments

It's time for the annual Halloween House Party Awards, hosted by your witty, gorgeous (It's my blog I'll have delusions if I want to) blogmaster.

The first award up for grabs this year is the Creepy Groping Man Award. Last year's winner, you may recall, was a 30-something thespian dressed as Edgar Allen Poe who ran around the house moaning, "Nevermore!" and grabbing boobies. This year's recipient goes by default to a small current Hiram student named Nick, who was dressed as an insomniac. While Nick's performance was nowhere near as ingenious or disruptive as that of last year's winner, he did show promise and complete disregard for personal space as he ran around the house caressing every female guest. Congratulations, Nick!

Although I had feared that this award would not be given this year, I'm pleased to announce that we do in fact have cause to hand out the Overreactive Men Who Worry Incessantly About Some Neurotic Woman and Break Down Mike's Door Award (Note: For full story, see Mike's post, below). This year's prize goes firmly into the hands of the Drunken Steve Duo, who, without benefit of any discernable form of reason, performed a heroic, damsel-in-distress routine. For added fun this year, Mike's door bears the splintered battle scars.

Which brings us to our next award, the ever-sympathetic Christ, I'm Sorry, That Really Didn't Need to Happen Award, which is presented again this year to Mike, who endured both an attack from the Superhero Steves and the image of Drew's naked, furry ass hanging off the edge of his bed. Mike's prize includes carte blanche to the laundry detergent in the basement to be used in the sterilization of his bedding.

Our next award is the Random Shit That Made Us Laugh Award. This year's recipients are Scott Perry and Chewy (Note to Self: Find out what the hell Chewy's real name is) who, dressed as superheroes, continually leapt in and out of rooms shouting in unison, "IF YOU'RE LOOKING FOR A FIGHT, YOU FOUND IT, BITCH!"

Our next coveted prize is the Most Blatant Emphasis to Package Award, which is a man-only category. Our judges (collectively known as "the voices in my head") had a rough time deciding on a winner, but it has ultimately gone to Steve the Housemate, whose black Spiderman tights left little to the imagination. Last year's winner was Nat, whose 1999 costume featured a realistic urine stream for his Pissing Boy Lawn Ornament getup. Nat came in a close second this year by proudly sporting bike shorts with his Thor costume. However, Steve edged him out with his performance at the apple bobbing vat, threatening guests that if they failed to produce an apple, they would be required to "Service Spidey," then straddling the apple vat and proclaiming, pelvis thrust forward, "Spiderman has NEEDS!" Congrats, Steve.

Our next award, the Best Use of a Dildo in Costume Award, goes to some guy named Eek, who proudly wore a rubber dick on his head for his rendition of Choder Boy from the movie Orgazmo.

Our awards ceremony will continue in just a moment. We must break for these commercial messages, and for the fact that Kate has to go to class now. 
posted by Kate at 11:17 AM link/comments

Sunday, October 29, 2000

a) post pics from party asap
b)My brother's stuck in LA - so even if i had stowed away in his carryon i wouldn't have made the party
c) still homeless.bah 
posted by billyjoe noodle-bob at 9:54 PM link/comments

Mmmm. Yes. Head hurts. Post-alcoholic haze has set in. Extra hour for daylight savings is weird. Day has been extremely long.

Good party. Spent evening mired in ridiculous conversations, went to bed at 6:30 (5:30?) a.m., slept for three hours, woke up, and spent remainder of day in semi-conscious state on couch. Our costumes ruled. Am harboring fantasies about wearing Trinity costume every day for rest of life. Will comment further in morning; eyes have lost all moisture. Must go have drink with Jen. This is bad idea, but am going to do it anyway. 
posted by Kate at 7:27 PM link/comments

Survivors Log:
My head hurts. By body aches. My dim memories of last night suggest that this could be do to alcohol, or Steve kicking me in the head. Probably both.
Turn out was decent, though I'm thinking not as good as we anticipated. Maybe a total of 30 - 40... but spread out over the course of the night.
Music was good, costumes kicked ass. Nat's Thor was excellent, Hardesty showed up as Indiana Jones, Two different Spidermen.... my own, of course, excellent rendition of the Maxx...
Joel Ingersol was in my house.
So were a lot of people I don't know.
I passed out around 2ish I think.
Was woken up around 2:30ish by people knocking down my door, kicking me on their way to see who was in my bed.
Sara was throwing up, stumble drunk, so I told her she could crash in my bed, door could be closed, she'd be away from most of the noise and people.
I go back, party, drink 'til I'm stumble drunk, and pass out on my bedroom floor.
Next thing I know I'm kicked in the head, and I think it was Steve, I caught a black footed sock thing, but my eyesight wasn't at it's peak.
There were a lot of people in my room. All talking and I was confused, in my drunken state I thought something bad had happened elsewhere, house on fire... but no.
In what seems to be becoming a Halloween tradition, they could not find Sara, assumed I had her in my room, but weren't sure.
Last year they thought I had Br3it in my room and attempted to bust down the door. Of course last year it was just me, so at least this time they were right.

Anyway, they all leave, I assume Sara passed out, I passed out.
Next I awake, it is to seeing some man's hairy ass sticking off the side of my bed.
I stand... kinda. Look, and it is Drew, my friend from Columbus. He had come in and attached himself to Sara.
I went, got Hardesty, told him to remove Drew from my bed, because I was in no way capable.
A smoke and a drink later, I pass out on my floor once more to be woken up at a later time.

These are the things I know for certain that happened. Oh, and someone just... brought a kitten in with them, so we had 4 cats last night so I hear. Have no idea if it's still here or what.

I'm positive that the others will share their views when the can look at a computer screen without it going fuzzy on 'em.

All in all, it was a kick ass party, y'all shoulda been here. 
posted by Mike at 2:18 PM link/comments

heheheh i have lacy things..... 
posted by billyjoe noodle-bob at 7:16 AM link/comments

Friday, October 27, 2000

Mike, despite having lived with me for 15 months now, is still operating under the delusion that i have lacy things.


LISTEN UP, WORLD! I BUY MY UNDERPANTS AT KMART AND I'M NOT ASHAMED TO ADMIT IT!

On that note, it's nearly time to flee this rose-colored office of mine in search of greater pursuits, such as preparation for the great-fucking-big gigantic Halloween party that will invade our home in just over 24 hours. If we're all not locked in the hoosegow come Monday morning, I will be certain to provide details to all you losers who will not be attending. *kisses* 
posted by Kate at 4:33 PM link/comments

Hey, all.
Are we ready for the Halloween Party tomorrow? Billy, you're coming, right? We'll pick you up at the airport. Just call with your flight number.
And Sean, stop avoiding us because you're not coming to the motherfucking Halloween party.

 
posted by Melinda at 4:33 PM link/comments

I disagree. It's quite entertaining to discuss your laundry over the blog. Very stimulating, and highly philisophical... I'm sure Billy is dying to know where you stash your lacy things... and well, Sean already has a few of your articles, sentimental value he told me before he ran out of the house... and Paul and Jen, well...alright, maybe they don't want to know... but you never know what they might need.
For instance...
Ok, I give up.
I give in, who cares.

MY DAY IS DONE!

So, I'll see ya at the ranch...
or that monstrosity we call home. 
posted by Mike at 4:21 PM link/comments

Yeah, yeah, it's on my list. Literally. I made a list of things to do tonight. Stop the presses; Kate's trying to get organized. So, if Steve wants me to get stuff out of the basement, why doesn't Steve call me and tell me? Christ knows he has my work phone number. MUST we discuss house matters on the blog? I mean, if you feel it's necessary, I guess it's OK, but I kind of hoped this would be an entertaining and stimulating forum for all, and I highly doubt that Bill, Paul, Jen, and Sean are interested in the location of my laundry. 
posted by Kate at 3:54 PM link/comments

Kate! Steve has requested, in a most humble manner, that there are a few articles of clothing that may belong to you in the basement that might be moved elsewhere. If you could do him that small favor so he may access his table for tomorrow.

I am but the messenger... 
posted by Mike at 3:48 PM link/comments

Oh... fine. Much better now.

Dumpsters and a chainsaw... man's true best friends.
And extra strength garbage bags.

And if we get a phone call, I'm not home.
In fact, tell them I'm in Afghanistan...
yeah... 
posted by Mike at 3:25 PM link/comments

So, Mike, having a good day at work? 
posted by Kate at 3:03 PM link/comments

Kill! Kill! Kill the Fran!!!
Death! I want her blood on my hands!!!

*Primordial scream of rage as Mike storms off to relax with a cigarette* 
posted by Mike at 1:29 PM link/comments

Christ, Melinda, we've been diagnosing your narcolepsy for years now. If this sleeping thing was really a terminal illness, you would have been dead years ago. And even if you did have some sort of life-threatening illness, we'd never be able to convince you to actually go to the doctor.


Explanation to All: Melinda is convinced that she can beat any illness, no matter how severe, by the force of sheer will and without the benefit of things like medical attention or antibiotics.
 
posted by Kate at 9:31 AM link/comments

Gee, whiz, Bill, maybe you are the right man, but there are several problems here:


1. You live in fargin' Australia.
2. You have a girlfriend.
3. You live in Australia.
4. I'm not sure you have any idea how screwed up I am.
5. You live in Australia.


In other news, I went to visit the shrink last night and she's given me an assignment. At some point before my next appointment, I have to strike up a conversation with a complete stranger. This sucks. Madame Shrink does not seem to think that "I just let my roommates meet new people and then I get introduced. That way, I avoid making an ass of myself, and besides, if I'm really hurting for companionship, I have cats" is a healthy attitude. Humph.
 
posted by Kate at 9:13 AM link/comments

For some reason, I always think of it as a hybrid between "lurk" and "slurp." There's something mushy about the word, and I usually use it to describe those who are inexplicably creepy, but in a harmless sort of way. Lurp, incidentally, Bill, is not actually a word, but for some reason, just about everyone I know from Hiram uses it. I'm pretty sure Paul made it up and it spread like airborne ebola across campus. It really ought to be in the dictionary. Webster's -- what bastards. 
posted by Kate at 9:04 AM link/comments

Lurpy is a great word. I first heard it when Paul used it to describe Brian Hanna, so the only thing I can think of in relation to lurpy is Brian. Since then, my working definition of "being lurpy" often refers to moments when I'm not only being dumb about something, but strange at the same time, and it's making innocent peole worried. I would say that everyone is lurpy at times. I guess it also knocks da boots with the word "lurking," as in "that lurpy man is lurking outside my window." We've all been there, yes? It can be an adjective or a verb: You are lurpy. You are lurping. Got it? See, my linguistics classes didn't go to waste. 
posted by Jen at 1:03 AM link/comments

Thursday, October 26, 2000

gang - a couple of things

a) damn we're a bunch of wordy bastards, I went away from the blog for maybe twelve hours in total and it took me like 15 minutes (ok maybe 3) to read all the updates. Not that I'm complaining - it makes me so happy to be in a room full of people who can critically discuss Columbus' "discovery" of "America" in one sentence and jump up and down screaming "Boobies" the next.
b) I like boobies.
c) Holly - what the fuck does lurpy mean?
d) Let's make Sean pay a "bragging tax". Every time he mentions a fascinating event or beautiful, exotic, highly intelligent woman (although if he looks sideways at thekate I'll rip his nuts off) he has to buy us all a drink next time we see him. Personally, I think that by the time I get to meet him I should have built up about a week's worth of free liquid.
e) My bastard older brother leaves for the states tomorrow. I want to be in his suitcase.
f) You're right Mr Mike. I have never once heard a "feminist" complain about the entrenched patriarchy inherent in anything once she has a good stiff one up her.
g) Tower???? *snort* you call him Tower??? *giggle*
h) I've told you a million times, Kate, that's because I am the right man.

*kisses* - i love each and every one of you.........

 
posted by billyjoe noodle-bob at 6:12 PM link/comments

SAFE!!! SAFE!!!!!! safe safe safe safe
I have been in fear all day that my boss, Ken, would ask me for directions to my house for the party I mistakenly invited him to. I didn't think he'd say yes. I was also obviously suffering from a brain tumor at the time. I have been lurking in my office, a growing feeling of dread in my stomach, convinced that every moment he didn't ask me made the next moment all the more deadly. I had decided I would tell him he didn't really want to go - that it had been a mistake to ask him. How do you DO that? Of course, it was equally impossile for him to come, so I had resigned myself. He just left, though, so I am safe. My hands are literally shaking. I have felt like scum all day. Here is this smart guy with an ok sense of humor who is EVERYTHING one doesn't want at a party. He is slimy, he is conservative, he is too, too large, and he is LURPY! That makes me an excluding bitch.

But a safe one!
 
posted by Holly at 5:25 PM link/comments

Hey, I really resent being referred to as "The Culprit". Unless we want to make that some kind of complimentary, permanent nickname. BUt then, of course, I'll have to make my life a whole lot more interesting. "The Culprit" shouldn't fall asleep on the couch every night watching bad television. On that note, I'm starting to think I've got some kind of chronic fatigue syndrome. I don't want to fall asleep on the couch. I Very often doze off in the middle of trying to speak. I can't wake up, even when prodded constantly. I'm obviously dying. Or, I teach for a living and those little demons have a whole lot more energy than I do.

The feminism thing has been beaten to death. I think girls are neat. Yippee.

Yeah, I think Sean's avoiding us. I think he's run off with one of those beautiful foriegn women he's always raving about and doesn't want an available trail back to his humble beginnings. (You hear us, Tupa? We're all incredibly bitter. I made you a fucking birthday card and have decided not to send it. Will only deliver in person.)
 
posted by Melinda at 4:37 PM link/comments

Oh... Kate. Beter Mantra: This day will end... this day will end... this day will end... 
posted by Mike at 4:32 PM link/comments

Whoops, you are so right Holly. Keep screwing it up, Melinda's the culprit. You are free in the the clear and a dear roommate who pays here stuff on time. I was wrong to ever accuse you, think evil thoughts your way and curse your family name. I am slapping my wrist repeatedly for my error. Bad Mike, bad bad bad Mike... you are good. I am bad. Memory like a fucking sieve....

So... Melinda. Money? 
posted by Mike at 4:20 PM link/comments

ridiculous to have to justify myself - but just so everybody knows -

I DON'T OWE ANY FRIGGIN' HOUSE MONEY!!!

You keep on asking me, and I keep telling you (ask Steve if you don't believe me). If we need money I can make an advance on next months though. 
posted by Holly at 3:52 PM link/comments

Yup. I'm certain of it. My printer is the devil. All the expensive-ass equipment they give me to use in this office works like a dream until I'm under deadline. I had the damned thing done yesterday, but then my boss had a meeting with the co-sponsor of the event, a rabbi, and he was all like, "This design is too academic. Since we're already two weeks late getting it to the printer considering the fact that I took my sweet fucking time getting around to returning your designer's phone calls, why don't you ask her to completely redesign the bastard. Certainly she doesn't have anything better to do, even though she's sitting on four websites in desperate need of an update, a non-working cgi script, and about 400 people a day who need her to perform some piddling fucking task that isn't her job to begin with."

*deep breath* Mantra: I like my job; I like my job; I like my job.
 
posted by Kate at 3:04 PM link/comments

Oh, and before I forget... Kate, Holly... house money. That check we write for the Removal folk will bounce unless we get some of the money you guys owe House Account. Check was for $100, so if you can't get all, that much will do for now.
 
posted by Mike at 2:43 PM link/comments

Goddamn, motherfucking, Jew loving, piece of shit Sean 'Wanker' Tupa? Trying to get his attention? The Libertarian who's idea of a good time is discussing... what were they... oh yeah, Memes? That guy? The fool who abandonned us to go to New York where there's more space for his ego to expand? That twiggy little red head, who's prattling philosophies are only good for curing insomniacs?
You're writing prose on feminism to get his attention? Better to write 'Woody Allen is a no talent hack!'...

Ok, I feel better. A lot of pent up insults that I've been denied the oppurtunity to throw Sean's way for some time.
 
posted by Mike at 2:26 PM link/comments

You're right, Kate. I think we're just desperately trying to get Sean's attention back now that he only hangs out with philosophers and beautiful, ethnic women at world-class restaurants. 
posted by Holly at 1:34 PM link/comments

Jesus Christ. Look at what we're writing. What a bunch of haughty, brainy pricks we are. I feel like I should jump up and down screaming, "Boobies!" and waving around a bottle of tequila to redeem myself. Damn. I wish I could get away with shit like that at work. 
posted by Kate at 1:21 PM link/comments

All right, so I read the some of the articles on the site Paul linked to and I'm certainly not opposed to the viewpoints of this man or woman. One small quibble: In the male-female relationship analysis, he (i'm going to say he because i'd guess this is written by a man, but am willing to admit i could be wrong) makes some comment about how there's a movement to "rewrite history" and somehow downplay the role men have played in the course. I think this is a bit of simplistic argument. While I know that there are women who are offended by the patriarchal prominence in history books worldwide, I don't see anything wrong with looking at revisionist history as something that has validity. This is not to say that men's achievements should be excluded. I just think there needs to be a more holistic approach to history. Maybe women and minorities didn't fight on the front lines, but they did contribute, and understanding this gives one an overall better knowledge of what happened before us.

This whole argument kind of reminds me of the Christopher Columbus thing. Columbus did not "discover" America according to the technical definition of the word. And it's true that his actions arguably led to colonization and the absolute desecration of this country's indigenous people. But to say that Columbus should be denied a place in the historical canon on this basis is absolutely absurd. It's just important to know the whole story.  
posted by Kate at 12:19 PM link/comments

Burton, I am sooo happy you decided to join us.

*Laughing and snorting my ass off*
 
posted by Kate at 12:07 PM link/comments

Having not read the article under fire, and because Holly is using big words like denigrate and prevalent, I feel it is at this time I should interject with something stupid, off color, and yet witty.
Feminists are funny, I've never seen a single group of people more likely to attack the people they are trying to help. They all just need to get laid.

*Stands firm, waiting for the verbal tomatoes to fly* 
posted by Mike at 11:58 AM link/comments

I must agree with Paul on the feminism article - basically she felt the need to justify her personal sex game with her husband very publicly to everyone on earth. I was with her until she made the crack about women who believe in equality but don't call themselves feminists. She acted like it was cowardly or naive. Katy is right - it means too many things for too many people. Many feminists seem to think that we should only support women in their quest to be more manly. The author's own fears reflect this - how can I be girly, but still be proud of being a girl? The problem is in the question (and on a side note - I don't like the implication she made that begging to be fucked is feminine, it seems like a highly personal game that I have seen men do a couple of times, too.) The prevalant type of feminist denigrate housewives and stay-at-home mothers, although I would think that anyone with a brain should see that it is better for a child to have a parent at home than be in daycare from birth. You have two ways to go - either say that parenting, nuturing, and all that other stereotypical girl shit is as good as the masculine ideals provided that we allow both men and women to NOT fit the boxes - or do as many 'feminists' do, and join the patriarchy in holding these in contempt, effectively emulating the abuser.

My sister had a radical feminist professor who rebuked her for smiling so much. She said it was a sign of weakness and submission to smile at people, and that men wuld not take her seriously. She was personally offended that Cara was somehow undermining the whole women's movement by being pleasant. This made Cara feel bad - which of course pissed me off. Didn't the woman ever consider that perhaps men would have to re-define how they interpreted smiles in the business world as more women entered it? Or that if women have to imitate men, no progress has been made at all?  
posted by Holly at 10:26 AM link/comments

Pshaw. Kate, your problem isn't picking wrong men. Tower is not the wrong man. Your problem is the same as mine. Timing. Finding the right person at the wrong time.
Would go into a lengthy diatribe, but I have to get ready for a meeting with El Capitain.
 
posted by Mike at 10:14 AM link/comments

I suppose I could be talked into bisexuality, but due to my deep-seated masochism, I tend to stick with men. Paul and Bill, you may now commence a scathing "Your problem is that you date the wrong men" lecture.
 
posted by Kate at 9:38 AM link/comments

Kick ass. Tentacle Man is here. Haven't heard much from Sean in the past few days.


Which reminds me: Sean, happy birthday. On Monday, I was flipping through a stack of England pictures on the coffee table (I think they're Mike's. Have no idea why the hell they were on the coffee table. Then again, there is no rationale for anything that ends up on our coffee table.) Anyway, I found a picture from your birthday in '96 at the Cornerhouse in Cambridge. You're cutting a cake and looking very surprised while sitting next to Scott Lucas, who looks way pissed off for some reason. I was going to ask Mike if I could borrow the picture so that I could scan it and put it on my site for all to enjoy, but then I forgot, mostly because I'm inherently stupid.


More later. Must go talk shop with boss. 
posted by Kate at 9:11 AM link/comments

Making his grand debut on Kate's Blog... after much anticipation....
Mike! Yes, that loveable ol' codger you crave so much! Here at last to add his words of Wisdom and Sarcasm to these
prestigious discussions.
We'll start with the ever so wise words of "You don't get to chose Love, Love choses you, and you are helpless to stop it." Said by a man who married his own daughter on Montel yesterday.
We will finish with these words of biting sarcasm. "So... a when the police knock on your door, you'll plea Love? Don't know if the judge will accept that, your love is 16 you know?" Said by Montel to a 35 year old man, sleeping with an ex-girlfriends 16 year old daughter. Or if he didn't say it, he should have.

Alright, sarcasm doesn't carry well over e-mail, but if you could see the look on my face while I typed that... very sarcastic.

Later, back to cell block 15-320 for this convict. 
posted by Mike at 9:02 AM link/comments

Wednesday, October 25, 2000

You're right, Paully, this is an interesting site. I'm slightly apprehensive, however, given the anonimity of the author. For some reason, I feel more comfortable with content sites that have some kind of an "and this is me" section......
 
posted by billyjoe noodle-bob at 9:20 PM link/comments

You always have been, are now, and will be forevermore, queen of my world, Katy Foster........ become a bisexual, move to Australia and marry me and Thekate...... 
posted by billyjoe noodle-bob at 9:07 PM link/comments

So, Paul, I'm confused. I can understand your argument about the semantic inconsistencies, but what are you saying? If I believe the same things I believe now, ie, that everyone under the sun should be able to do whatever the fuck they damned well please (as long as they're not maliciously hurting others) and not have to apologize for it on the basis of gender or societal labels, but call myself an equalist instead of a feminist, then you're OK with it?

Problem is, y'all, that there does not exist a single, concrete definition of feminism. There are women who are married, have no problems with men in general, and call themselves feminists. There are bull dykes like Andrea Dworkin who say that heterosexual sex is always rape and who shun the aforementioned hetero women. There are women who dress up like painted whores and fuck anything with a dick who call themselves feminists ... you know ... the whole "getting in touch with your inner slut" movement. Defining feminism has been a problem from the start, and it's only more complicated now. Am I a feminist? Depends on who you ask.

And if you ask me, I'll tell you this: I define myself. The tenets of society do not get to have that privilege, and if it tries to invade, I'll probably fight it off with a sharp stick.

The world will be to my liking only when I am queen of all. Mwah ha ha ha ha. 
posted by Kate at 8:25 PM link/comments

billyjoebob, why did you have to do that? why did you have to post an article written by one of the most insidious, vile, despicable creatures on the planet? I'm talking, of course, about feminists. i really don't understand how people can believe the crap coming out of that woman's mouth. sure, a lot of what she says makes a kind of sense, but that's because a lot of what she says is just whining about how she isn't sure, and how she's filled with doubt. for fuck's sake, everyone is filled with doubt. it doesn't make her special. what would make her special is if she were able to operate faithfully to the ideals she claims to possess. the best part was when she denegrated "those women" who say, "Well, I believe in equality, but I'm not a feminist." here's a theory: if you call yourself a feminist, you do not believe in equality. the biggest myth about feminism is that it strives for equality. it doesn't. you don't have to analyze past the name of the movement to see this, but people continually miss it, preferring to believe this fantasy that feminists themselves keep trying to perpetuate, even as they campaign for inequality. the word "feminist" contains a reference to the feminine and utterly lacks any reference to the masculine. ergo, the word leaves out half of the perspective. so how is that equality? if you advocate equality, why dont you call yourself an equalist?

my diatribe is over. you may flame me at your will.

but if you want to read a really good article on relationships between men and women as a kind of complement to that other article, go to this URL:

http://www.geocities.com/RainForest/Vines/3951/romance.html 
posted by Paully at 6:12 PM link/comments

OK. Well no, that's a perfectly intelligent and reasonable question to ask. The answer is - politics. She wants to move in with me, I want to move in with her, but her mother who, for some reason has decided that I, rather than being a nice boy from the northern suburbs with good table manners and a Steady Professional Job, am in fact DEMON SPAWN, and as Kate's only 22, and a full time student, her mother still has a pretty good stranglehold on her finances. So nothing's going to happen on that front until at least the end of the year. 
posted by billyjoe noodle-bob at 5:56 PM link/comments

So here's my question, Bill: Why not move in with aforementioned sexy, highly intelligent girlfriend? Or is that a bad question to ask? 
posted by Kate at 9:07 AM link/comments

This Week's Horoscopes

Aquarius: (Jan. 20--Feb. 18)

You've been on hold for three years now and are beginning to suspect that your call isn't important to them, after all. 
posted by billyjoe noodle-bob at 2:33 AM link/comments

Tuesday, October 24, 2000

One day - far in the future - they're going to pay me to write for Salon. And I'm going to love them for it. A fascinating article about the dichotomy inherent in being a heterosexual feminist.......Salon.com Sex | If Gloria can do it ...
 
posted by billyjoe noodle-bob at 11:20 PM link/comments

*sigh* i just feel like after so long looking, and after putting in so much effort, it finally happened, then in the course of about two hours it all turned to shit. I'm now in a worse position than I was before I even started. I now have no house and no housemates. I refuse to move into a single bedroom apartment, I've done that before and the resulting spiral into depression is not one that i relish the thought of repeating. The thought of eating baked beans by myself in front of the TV night after night is just too awful to bear. By the same token, I have a steady, well paying job, and a sexy, highly intelligent girlfriend, so a move to Cleveland just to find somebody groovy to move in with would be just plain stupid.

On a lighter note, I ran out of my super tummy drugs last night as well (billyjoebob has a duodenal ulcer), and so will spend the day in severe pain until I can get to a doctor. yay.

 
posted by billyjoe noodle-bob at 8:40 PM link/comments

Room Status: House has seven bedrooms. We have seven people who live here. Melinda and Steve share a bedroom, but Melinda keeps a large quantity of her stuff in the "spare" room. It's been discussed previously that if we found ourselves in a situation where someone wanted to move in and we all wanted them to move in, the whole "spare" room thing could be rearranged. We also have space throughout the rest of the house that, could, with a bit of ingenuity, be transformed into a bedroom.

The shower-to-person ratio is not too good. If our totals were up to 8 people, the ratio would be 1 shower to every 4 people. We don't (and I say this honestly and frankly) have too much of a problem, strangely. Most cabal members take showers at strange hours.


The spare room is small, but it has its own porch. 
posted by Kate at 7:19 PM link/comments

p.s. Does Ms King realise that you guys are pimping nude photos of her? Not that i'm not happy about it, just wanted to know. 
posted by billyjoe noodle-bob at 6:21 PM link/comments

Yo.

It seems some of tha billyjoebob's soon-to-be-livin-the-rest-of-their-short-ass-lives-in-agonising-pain prospective homies misrepresented their situation vis a vis enough splash to dash. billyjoebob is again homeless - and is polishing his glock.........

Wonderous inhabitants of the cabal - could you possibly do a boy a favour? Without getting too excited about it, and without throwing a huge "Yay Bill's moving from Australia to come and play with us" party (ok throw the party, but wait til i get there) tell me what the spare room status in your house is like? Also - what's the people to shower ratio?

 
posted by billyjoe noodle-bob at 6:20 PM link/comments

OK, Australia bound. However, if Billy keeps posting that porn, I'm not going. Man, that was not what I wanted to see today. I think I have to call the social services to get some kid removed from his house. I said "fuck" in class today when two kids charged at eachother and knocked over four desks before I could get to them. I think "fuck" was allowable. I think I'm tired. I think I would do very well at some lousy desk job. I think I'll be fine tomorrow.
ABout the betrothed thing. Billy, I never said I actually wanted to be yours. I just felt neglected for never having been considered. Must keep a girl's ego going, you know. I'll do what I can, though, to get some naked Jen for you. I mean, I'm not cold-hearted.
Sean, I was listening to NPR today and they were talking about the World Series. They summed it up by saying, 'The rest of the country doesn't care about "The SUbway Series". New York is full of itself anyway. Why should we encourage them the be more self involved??" Just thought you'd find that interesting....
 
posted by Melinda at 4:44 PM link/comments

okay, so I have just read the entire series of editorials on the The Onion of the gangster accountant while sewing patches for our kid's program "Just Say No" quilt. It's scary, now I'm thinking in gangster-speak : "I am a mutha fuckin social worker and I WILL arrange yo life! Sheeit...muthafuckin' shorties can't make a patch to save they fool lives. They be frontin' with all this fabric paint an shit. That beeatch shoulda tol' them bout messin' wit' me - you fuck up my sewing borders and I WILL go Bruce Lee on yo ass." Which is really rather sad. You do have to wonder - who decided to boycott the letter s? Is z really that great? I wonder how the conversation got started to use letters for everything:

hypothetical gangster 1: I think we are speding way too mch time speaking, don't you? There must be SOME way to convey the same amount of information in less time!

hypothetical gangster 2: I do believe you're right. Perhaps we could use the first letter of words instead of saying the whole thing.

hypothetical gangster 1: Why, that's brilliant, B!

hypothetical gangster 2: R J Q E E!

hypothetical gangster 1: That was so much more efficient! Unfortunately, I have no idea what the F you just said. 
posted by Holly at 4:35 PM link/comments

So, Bill's moving into a house that has a four-person spa. That does it. Pack your bags, Melinda and Holly. We're going to Australia. 
posted by Kate at 3:18 PM link/comments

I feel I should comment on this whole "living with crazy people" theme that's been floating around here in blogland for the past few days. According to The Mind of Kate, there are two types of crazy people, and while each category has multiple variations and subcategories, I believe that all "crazy" people fall into one of these categories:


1. The Fuck-You Weirdo: This is the weirdo I prefer, and the category that my housemates (and everyone on this blog, for that matter) fall into. The Fuck-You Weirdo is defined completely by self-awareness. Example: I know with absolute certainty that my lifestyle is deviant from the status quo. Most 24-year-old single women don't choose to live in a house with 6 other people, three of whom are male, unless she is broke and desperate and/or sleeping with one of the housemates. While I love my housemates, the idea of getting into a romantic and/or sexual relationship with any of them is utterly ridiculous to me. I also know that my attitude toward the universe is a bit skewed, i.e., I do NOT believe, as our society does, that one's adult life should revolve around credit ratings (gawd knows. you should see mine.), minivans, home equity loans, keeping up with the jonses, and voting partisan lines. Essentially, the Fuck-You Weirdo takes a good, long look at the world and how the majority of it operates and says, "Nope. Fuck that. Although I understand that there are certain rules I must abide by to function and keep myself alive, I'm going to look at everything from behind a cynical, critical set of lenses and spend a lot of time mocking the standard way of life."


2. The Alternate Universe Weirdo: This is the homogenized weirdo, the guy who will look you in the eye without the slightest trace of irony and say, "Well, of course the FBI is covering up the presence of UFOs. As a matter of fact, the FBI is run by extraterrestrials, and humans aren't permitted to work for them unless they agree to have their brains implanted with a mind-control chip operated entirely by the Xorgian Galaxy Grandmaster, whose name is Jezebel. Hey, would you like to see my collection of carefully-preserved Pachyderm entrails?" This guy has no idea that his view of the world is skewed, hence no self-awareness. He's just fucking nuts.
 
posted by Kate at 2:05 PM link/comments

No scathing message to follow. You redeemed yourself with the "except Chloe" comment. It's all true. Nessie's a homicidal, blood-thirsty psychopath and I'm pretty sure Bugsy's a sociopath. Or just plain dumb. Chloe, however, is a dear love, the only ferret who doesn't consistently hurl litter across my bedroom. 
posted by Kate at 1:36 PM link/comments

I know it is late on the mouse issue, but, well, I guess I still want to talk about it. Some of you know that while in high school I dated a charming boy named James, who incidentally looks and acted like Billy to a scary degree. Except for the having a job thing and hehad a problem with heroin instead of alcohol. Anyway, he was going to school for movie special effects in Pittsburg and lived in a nasty, nasty neighborhood. It was terrifying. There were rats running around everywhere with absolutely no fear of people, cars, or the Just Wrath of God. The only way to live in his hovel (which he shared with people crazier than any of us, sorry Kate) without being nibbled on everytime you slept was to have cats or Mr. Finnigan. Mr. Finnagan was their ferret. They put out water for it, but it had to feed itself. There were no rats. Oddly enough, it was the sweetest ferret I have ever met around humans. Maybe because it realized that big things eat little things, and that he better endear himself to everything bigger. Most ferrets have become impudent in their assurance that they will not be eaten (of course, most of my experience with ferrets are with Katy's evil ones, except for Cloe. I understand a scathing message will follow).
Anyway, the point is - you had the solution all along. Have your ferrets eat the mice. Not humane, but natural in the circle of life sort of way. Nature red in tooth and claw. The noble savage. The perfect alternative to "Must-See TV."  
posted by Holly at 11:36 AM link/comments

No, the house has not yet acquired a DSL hookup, mostly because of the fact that Mike's computer is an ornery turd. Zack and Mike can't figure out why it refuses to establish itself as the main computer on our little network. Perhaps it is a socialist. Must remember to take a look at it when I get home. I know nothing about LANs and networks and things, but I do have this marvelous ability to decipher these things. Having said that, I'm sure the computer will bitch-slap me back into a state of humility.  
posted by Kate at 9:21 AM link/comments

damn shit bugger i don't even want to talk about it....... 
posted by billyjoe noodle-bob at 5:55 AM link/comments

congratulations, billyjoebob, on a word well used. it's actually one of my favorites. i say it to my students sometimes, and they give me a look like, what the hell are you talking about, mr english man? then i have to put some smack down.

i didnt eat any poison, thank gawd, but i was tempted by a rather smart-looking hibiscus. are those poisonous? or just ugly?

in other news, one of my teachers thinks that im a smart guy when it comes to feminism. i bet another teacher that our class would lynch me because of my stance on feminism. if youre a feminist, and you want to not be my friend anymore, i suggest that you bring up feminism with me. the bet was for a dollar. when she sees my bloated corpse dangling from a tree on the ISU green, she'll stuff the dollar bill into my mouth. i made her promise.

i read Thoreau's Walden today. i was going to bore you with my ruminations on it, but then i thought, paul, im not sure everyone wants to hear that stuff. so i stopped myself. if you do want to hear it, ask. but be warned.

your roommates may be crazy, but at least they dont steal your stuff. 
posted by Paully at 1:59 AM link/comments

in other news - has anyone realised that i just a) used ubiquitous in a sentence spelled correctly and in context? Don't all shower me with praise at once...... 
posted by billyjoe noodle-bob at 1:37 AM link/comments

I think we passed the mouse inspection....Hey world, I voted for Nader today (absentee ballots RULE!). I dreamed about lions last night. Paul is, right now, playing some online game thing, and his opponent's name is Sloppy Anus. That's just wrong. Don't vote for Sloppy Anus.  
posted by Jen at 1:05 AM link/comments

YYYAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYY i finally have a place to live !!!!!!!!!
 
posted by billyjoe noodle-bob at 12:46 AM link/comments

Melinda, Melinda - wherefore art thou Melinda? hath thou forsaken me? hangon (me reads the "friends" section of Kate's page again) - hey HANGON = aren't you like BETROTHED or something??? aarraagghhh shawk hawwraawr milady the antipodean is a gentleman (even if an uneducated heathen) and would not countenance wooing another man's sweetheart. Kate, Jen and Holly, on the other hand, are still fair game *giggle* ps I still haven't seen any of these so called ubiquitous nude photographs of the lovely Ms King? come on people - it's not like i've made a secret of my email address, icq number or predeliction for pornography...... oh yes - melinda wanted some porn *giggle* click *rofl* 
posted by billyjoe noodle-bob at 12:21 AM link/comments

Monday, October 23, 2000

we don't have any mice in our apartment, although occasionally i'll see a cute 6" long rat in the subway. i wish i lived with crazy people. i'm considered the one who is off his rocker around here. go figure. i don't think i'm off my rocker, especially when compared to those guys who shit in the street right in front of you. dem's crazy, not me.

this weekend was uneventful. i went to my greek friend's b-day party, where i met a beautiful, beautiful portuguese ashkenazy named Marta (or maybe Martha, i still can't get past all of these damned accents). She's a philosophy student, an operatic singer, and has studied with Yehudi Menuhin (the world-famous violinist). We went to dinner during the party, since we were both hungry, and when in the attempt to return, were swept up by a crowd of the same party-goers headed toward the 23rd st. chelsea piers (it's a club situated amongst boats on the west side). so we went. i danced a bit, but couldn't handle the new dancing method. this method consists of stomping one's feet in one place, with arms at one's side. so i'm standing amongst a bunch of people emulating native american stereotypes from a 50's western, trying to decide whether everybody did indeed look like a complete ass or whether it was the fact that i was quickly reentering the world of sobriety. neither situation was to my approval, and i encouraged my companions to leave with me. we ended up in a village schwarma and falafel stand until 5 am.

by the way: has the house acquired a DSL hookup yet? i want to do video conferencing...

 
posted by sean at 9:07 PM link/comments

Here's an example of what happens when you live with these crazy people for a long time:

This morning, after having abused the snooze button on my alarm clock for nearly an hour, I did manage to make it into the shower. Afterwards, I realized that I had, in my stupor of the night before, completely neglected to bring my laundry in off the line. (Isn't it grand--hanging laundry out in October?) So, I paraded out into the driveway in my post-shower attire, or lack thereof and proceeded to pick out the clothes I wanted to wear. Int he process, I noticed that the stars were still out and in full force and stopped to gaze at them for a while, thinking, "Golly, even though we're in congested NE OHio, and surrounded by light pollution, I can still see many of these things we call stars. Wish I knew more constellations. Wish our garage wasn't in the way. (Side thought--we may only have to wait a few short months until our garage isn't in the way anymore. It's not the most structurally sound thing in the world.) At this point, I realized that I was butt-naked in the driveway, clutching an armful of clothes and should probably head back inside.

That said, I think I'll move on.

I don't think we have any mice. Though, sitting on aforementioned sectional couch last night, I was positive that I heard the return of The Creature Within the Walls. We have this pesky non-paying housemate who takes up residence in the winter months. SO far, our landlord's solution has been to randomly place sonic devices (I don't know that they actually do anyhting. I think he got suckered by some salesman.) around the house and attach them with velcro so they occasionally come crashing down on our heads. I think he's got a deal with The Creature Within The Walls and is trying to get rid of us instead.

You know, I've realized something else. We all write in really long sentences. Some of the uneducated masses might say that we're wordy. Screw them.

You know, I'm rambling.
 
posted by Melinda at 4:55 PM link/comments

Here's an example of what happens when you live with the same people for a long time:


Last night, Jen and I were lying on the couch (it's a sectional; we each had our own section) flipping through channels when we came across The Red Green Show (fabulous Canadian comedy). There was much cheering and arm-waving as we expressed our joy over our good television fortune. The best part was that there was yet ANOTHER episode of Red Green on after the first.

Between shows, presumably to offset the whole "Canadian TV shows are not necessarily the same length as American shows" thing, PBS had some guy (Jen explained to me that he was a former cast member of Dr. Who) doing a 5-minute educational spot on astronomy, and how now is the right time to see The Pleiades and The Seven Sisters. So I think, "Hey. I should pay attention to this. I'm really an idiot when it comes to astronomy. I'm lucky if I can identify the damned dippers, for chrissakes. I should spend more time looking at the stars. Of course, it would be nice to have someone to look at stars with. *insert pining wistful thoughts of romance here* Wait a minute. All right, Kate! Knock it off. We have better things to think about, don't we? Or maybe not ... *audible sigh* Maybe I just need to get laid."


It was at this precise second that Jen turned to me and said, "Kate, we need to get laid," and then explained to me how she'd had nearly the same train of thought beginning with the astronomy man.


Which leads me to my latest theory: Both constellations and former cast members of Dr. Who are inherently evil because they make single people feel lonely. Must find funding for research on this hypothesis.
 
posted by Kate at 9:58 AM link/comments

It's times like these when I get down on my knees on the indoor-outdoor carpeting that completes the mauve (*gag*) decor of my office and thank the almighty for our landlord. His attitude toward our house is "As Long As You Can Paint It Over When You Move Out, I Don't Care What You Do."

Jen, I really think your best option is to slip the poison into Lad's coffee, but if you're thinking that homicide wouldn't be the best course of action, I think you should say something like, "Oh. You know I thought I might have seen a mouse around here a couple of weeks ago. If we notice any, we'll surely do our duty to your creepy, litigating ass and eliminate them with extreme prejudice." If he notices them himself, I don't know that there's anything you can do, especially if he decides to hire an exterminator. If he tells you to kill them yourself, keep on with the humane traps. I can understand your concern that the ferrets or, more likely Paul, would chomp down some mouse poison.

So I was thinking fondly this weekend of the time during sophomore year of college when Paul and Scott (ex-boy) and Jen and I won a homemade Texas sheetcake at the Hiram Habitat for Humanity auction, and we decided to host a "Texas Sheet Cake and Prison Movies" night. We ate an absurd amout of sheetcake, drank cheap wine, and watched (as I recall) at least one of the "Women's Penitentiary" series. The best part was when Brian "No Tolerance" Hanna had, like, all of three cupfuls of boxed wine and began dancing around with a lampshade on his head in the B-C Lounge. This, of course, began a chain reaction of Brian memories, which I greatly enjoyed.  
posted by Kate at 9:36 AM link/comments

mice - there are none in my mum's house *whistles* "walkin in a winter wonderland" 
posted by billyjoe noodle-bob at 6:57 AM link/comments

mice - small furry mammals which inhabit my (ex) housmate's loungeroom in droves, due largely to her leaving rotting foodstuffs lying next to the couch after she finishes binge eating while she watches the Country Music Channel or Ally McBeal....... any questions on why I moved out? In related news, we saw one tonight that's a possibility, and we're booked in to see one tomorrow morning that's top of the list. I know you're all getting bored with my house hunting war stories, but believe me, so am I..... more later. 
posted by billyjoe noodle-bob at 6:05 AM link/comments

Sunday, October 22, 2000

Hi, I'm bringing up a new topic: mice.

Chapter One
I'm on the humane mouse patrol, since extremely large-eyed mice have settled in behind our stove, thinking it's just fine to scoot around the counter tops, make biscuits, brew tea, not do the dishes, and shit on the burners. So I bought these little live traps (Hiram co-op people may remember them -- gray boxes with a trap door, very humane and effective). The Trapped Mouse Tally is now at eight and climbing, since the largest-eyed mouse I've ever seen (it's a fucking mutant, I swear) has figured out how to get the bait and escape, and he's telling all his friends. He's a brave bastard too -- doesn't even wait till I leave the room.

Chapter Two
Landlord Lad Grove (that's his real name, and he's a lawyer) leaves me a note this week, announcing that he's coming to inspect the apartment for "cleaniness, insects, and rodents" (uh-oh) and he leaves an industrial sized box of D-Con, which promises to "kill rodents after one feeding." That means, I think, that a neighbor also has mouseguests and decided to bitch to Lad about it, so now Lad is playing inspector. The dilemma: do I hide my live traps and say, "mice? what mice? we don't have no stinkin mice," thereby circumventing having to put down poison (which the ferrets, James, or Paul will inevitably find and eat)? Do I say, "Lad, what the hell is up with your name?" Do I slip D-Con into his coffee as he deems our apartment a "filthy rodent den?"  
posted by Jen at 3:03 PM link/comments

bah. bored at midnight on sunday night - thought i'd irritate you all by ringing the cabal at an ungodly hour on a sunday morning, but can't find your phone number - of course realizing that it could be listed under any one fo 7 names doesn't help...... 
posted by billyjoe noodle-bob at 9:18 AM link/comments

p.s. (feeling like one must jump on the "Let's give Sean shit because we're jealous that he lives in NEW YORK CITY" bandwagon (even though i'm actually, seriously, really not), Sean: If all you have to say is: Come to new york city then why are your posts so fucking long? *collapses on floor giggling at his hilarity after midnight on a sunday.* 
posted by billyjoe noodle-bob at 8:37 AM link/comments

All: (since it seems that every entry on this blog can only be made unless adressed to a particular member) Fuck. felt compelled to make clear, concise post, with links and information. Have decided must fulfil role as "resident blog snob", in order to feel like have relevance in room full of post-graduate smarty pantses discussing McLuhan. Only response possible appears to be "oh yeah? get fucked - i have a real job", however argument falls flat on face when confronted with reality of timeclock and cubicle - with - computer. Went out and got drunk again on friday night, tramsurfed (where you run up behind a moving tram and jump onto the back). Didn't die (obviously) however life threatening behaviour whilst under the influence is one of those things which made me become a recovering alcoholic instead of an alcoholic. Have new resolve to stop drinking again. Went to friend's 21st on Sturday, in a huge warehouse. My ex fiancee arrived to see me wearing a 1980's formal dress, replete with lace and Large Bow and combat boots. We had a great chat (i haven't seen her since the police dragged me out of her house three years ago) and got some healthy closure. Rob (my prospective housemate) kissed Thekate's best friend Michelle, they went to bed together..... Thekate says we can do that after we get married.

*deep breath* ok i think that's it.... oh yeah my little sister has a boyfriend (her 1st ever).

Melinda, email rudey pics to bill@billyjoebob.net

 
posted by billyjoe noodle-bob at 8:26 AM link/comments

Saturday, October 21, 2000

Yeah, well, Mr. Sean, tonight we're going to a Halloween party in Cleveland Heights. Ha. So there won't be any former members of Duke Ellington's band there, but there WILL be jello shots and drunken Hiram people. Bet you can't get that at Greenwich Village "Doesn't Serve Jello Shots" Jazz Club.


So we decided that we couldn't wear our "real" costumes tonight since our party's next week, so here's the lowdown on tonight's haphazardly-constructed getups. Melinda's going as Peg Bundy, complete with red wig, makeup, and leopard-print shirt. Holly will be playing the part of The Addams Family's Wednesday. Zack doesn't know what the hell he's going yet, but he wants it to somehow involve a witch hat. Steve's putting together what appears to be an old, fat farmer costume. Jen's going as "Far Too Flambouyant Girl." Those of you who are familiar with Jen's wardrobe know why this is appropriate. As for me, I threw together this outfit consisting of shiny green skirt, silver shirt with way too many buttons open and a green bra underneath, sparkly tights, green lipstick, and green shoes. Melinda and Holly have decided that my official costume title is "Madame of a Leprechaun Whore House."


Sean: Despite your insane fascination with Woody Allen, you are not, in fact, Jewish.  
posted by Kate at 7:18 PM link/comments

well, well, well, my little friends are discussing kitty-kats, midterms, contact lenses, blah, blah, blah...(one can feel a "haughty," "high society," "sean's in new york" comment coming) i just spent this evening at the famous greenwich village jazz club the village vanguard, listening to the jazz, the blues, the funky jazz of the great, the notable alto saxophonist lou donaldson and his quartet. he's 74, used to play with duke ellington, lives in the bronx, and plays ecstatically good sax. omigod, i'm in eighth heaven. i went with my israeli friend ella. beautiful, cultured, jewish. sax and judaism: it can't get better than this.

on a more, *cough, cough* "humble" note, nothing much more exciting than that has been happening. i've been reading the culture industry chapter of horkheimer and adorno's Dialectic of Enlgihtenment, and boy, am i going to rip them apart in my paper. one thing to their credit requires note: one of their main theses states that the new media bases itself upon repetition, and thus revolves around undifferentiating themes and allows for no originality and flexibility. the funny thing is that they keep on sayng this, at least every five sentences.

you know, i do find myself missing azrael, tia, andf lazarus, every now and then, but then again, maybe it's just the J&D and beer talking...

caroline, to my infinite envy, has landed a job in the administration's office of the new school. she is now an employee of the university, and not simply a student. she attends classes with FREE tuition, and needs only to pay the tax. damn that girl.

tomorrow, i am attending the birthday party of a greek friend of mine who has his B.A. in architecture from Cambridge University, England. he gave me a flier for the party. It reads (overlaid upon a xerox of davinci's last supper):
"please design a game to be played by 24 people seating drunk/ or not around a table."
"you will give the written rules to someone else and we shall trust the interpretation"
"please bring a bottle or two of wine and do not be too late as the fish will disappear."

disappearing fish? what the fuck? 
posted by sean at 1:49 AM link/comments

Friday, October 20, 2000

Aww, Kate's taking mid-terms again. I feel like I should send her a care package with cookies and uplifting kity posters. Of course, I live with her and am not willing to decorate my home with anything that bastardizes cats that way. Especially after, since I've lived with cats for the first time ever, realizing that they are sick, sardonic, intentionally evil creatures. Got to respect that, though. It's a goal of mine. If they would just start producing posters that were more in tune with the real inner monologue of cats, I think I'd be on the bandwagon. Something like "Fuck off, I want that chair." Or "Feed me and I'll leave you alone." Yes, much better.

Billy, Scandanavian porn? I'm game. I'll see if I can get a contract release on all of my nude photos for you.

 
posted by Melinda at 4:48 PM link/comments

Mid-term over. Gave self carpal tunnel syndrome filling out 15 of 16 pages of blue book trying to regurgitate weirdo professor's theories. Think I succeeded.

Decided last night that consuming several glasses of red wine on Jen's porch would be good idea. Was wrong. Have headache. On upshot, had humorous interaction earlier with foreign student (Chinese) who asked where Professor-Whose-Office-Is-Next-To-Mine was. "North Carolina," I replied, truthfully. "North CaroRina?" he said, aghast, holding hand to heart, then began laughing hysterically and fled office. Apparently, in China, the truth is hysterical. 
posted by Kate at 4:34 PM link/comments

Hmm. So what's the committee? And, more importantly, can I be addressed simply as "Shiva"? 
posted by Kate at 2:05 PM link/comments

Howdy all. It means just hello, as far as i can tell.

some guy in religious studies was all like, Sorry my brother, but i gots ta fly next year. find someone else for your damn committee.

so now im like, shit. anyone want to be on my committee? the pay is lousy, but we'll have a lot of fun. all you have to do within the next two weeks is be hired by ISU and teach in some department other than english. that's not so hard, if you think about it. 
posted by Paully at 1:59 PM link/comments

holly: yes, come up November 13th. we have to make plans, arrangements, and all that jazz, especially since i have on the 18th from 5:30 to 7:30 pm, and class on tues. and thurs., both from 1-3. give me a call. we'll discuss it. 
posted by sean at 11:46 AM link/comments

So we have this Hebrew scholar coming in to give a talk next month, and I'm in charge of the publicity crap for the event. I was searching around the web for some sort of appropriate artwork because I'm getting no help on that front from the profs sponsoring the event. The woman's giving a talk on symbolism in the Song of Songs. So I do a long-shot search for "song of songs artwork" and the first two hits I got were these. *Laughing my ass off*
 
posted by Kate at 11:06 AM link/comments

Heh heh heh. Click here for some first-class Bush bashing. 
posted by Kate at 10:39 AM link/comments

I feel your pain, Jen...I tried to get contact lenses a few years ago, and with my usually dragonlady claw length nails they had to teach me a two handed paw technique that was kind of bizarre. Then, once I got them in, they felt like tiny aliens sucking on my corneas all day, i know if you suffer through this period you supposedly get used to it, but after a few days I bailed. Glasses are not that bad. I think I need a new prescription though, so I might try again while I'm at it.

Sean? I'm serious - I fully intend to come and sleep on your couch the week of November 13th. Is this okay? I'd hate to show up in NYC unexpectedly and have to rough you up or something.

 
posted by Holly at 9:46 AM link/comments

The following is Jen Hirt's post to her own blog (see link on my homepage.) Sorry, Jen, to steal it, but it cracked me up, so I thought I'd spread the joy. Note to readers: Leonard and Betty are Jen's gereatric, doddering employers at the American Reading Academy, where she teaches speed reading.

[10/19/2000 10:38:22 PM | Jen Hirt]
Today was a big day -- I have a cold, I have a weird white bump on my tongue, I wore contact lenses for the first time, and the American Reading Academy was robbed overnight by a really clueless person who thought she/he would find something of extreme value among Leonard and Betty's shelves of books. The robber took the camera and sixty dollars, dumped out some drawers, didn't touch the books (much to Betty's relief). Aaargh. This is such an unbelievable job...

I spend twenty minutes this morning at Pearl Vision, at the mall, utterly failing to get my contact lense anywhere near my eye, which was like, "Nope. Not putting THAT on me." But then I did it and the first thing I saw through my new contacts was all the old people power walking around the mall. There's just not that much to look at around Iowa...I'll just stab my eyes out, feed them to the hogs....

 
posted by Kate at 9:19 AM link/comments

Sean: Please tell me, for god's sake, that this woman didn't take herself seriously when discussing the class system inherent in television ghoul families.

And Sean: Did you intentionally misspell "message." Your post says The Medium is the Massage.


So I get to take this midterm in my film class today where I have to spend an hour with my nose in a blue book analyzing the aueterist nature of Charlie Chaplin films and explain how his movies fall under the revisionist category of the slapstick genre. Then I get to (hot shit!) discuss Frank Capra's "Mr. Deeds Goes to Town" from a period perspective and cleverly unearth all of Capra's conservative sensibilities from the subtext of the dialogue. Of course, what I really want to say is that I thought Mr. Deeds was a decent flick, especially because it starred Gary Cooper, whose early performances make me drool (he is sooooo pretty). And I also want to say that I can't stand Chaplin flicks because I keep thinking about how Charlie Chaplin treated women outside of the film world and how he only found happiness when he met Oona because she was completely subservient. Plus he creeps me out because he's really short and there's something about his tramp character that's vaguely mime-like (perhaps it's the whole silent movie thing) and I'm scared of mimes. But I don't think the Kate Method to Film Analysis is going to fly with Mr. I-have-a-Ph.D.-in-this-stuff. *sigh*
 
posted by Kate at 9:07 AM link/comments

kate: all i have to say is this: come to new york.

all: all i have to say is this: come to new york.

kate again: i'm rereading mcluhan's The Medium is the Massage, and douse me with gasoline and granola if that guy ain't brilliant. mcluhan addressed many fears i've had concerning the internet and democracy, and i've drawn from him several ideas which maintain that particularization is not a result of the internet (this blog being a prime example). further research is required to confirm this, but i still place my faith in the great canadian guru of the electronic.

all again: okay, okay, i'll stop being a haughty prick, but it's so hard to be reserved when one is living in NEW YORK CITY. i understand that my self-contenting bravado raises jealosies and that people don't like hearing what an exquisitely wonderful life i have in NEW YORK CITY. i mean, my life would be wonderful anyway, but of course, i still believe it's just a tad more wonderful because i live it out in NEW YORK CITY.

today i attended a reading of one of the writing professors with caroline in brooklyn. the writing was okay, not entirely inspiring, but not horrible. although she pretty much avoided presenting anything which could be considered genius (according to my oh so humble standards), she did have one or two innovative remarks about the class differentiation between the Addams family and the Munsters. not much more on this subject can be related.
 
posted by sean at 2:02 AM link/comments

Thursday, October 19, 2000

Aloha all. it means both hello and goodbye.

Kate: borrow money and go to New York. i refuse to become oprah winfrey here, so i'll keep it short. if you do what you really, really want to be doing, things usually work out. of course, you have to be willing to suffer for it. eat little, entertain yourself little, live in a little place. that kind of thing. but if this really is what you (really, really) want to do, then there doesnt seem to be much question here. go to new york.

Sean: i doubt i'll ever feel anything Nietzschean, resentiment or otherwise, for you. or even toward you. i shudder to contemplate it.

All: this alarm clock thing is pretty strange. i understand where holly is coming from, though. sometimes i begin to hate the world for hiding my pocket watch, and then i find the watch in the pocket of my sports coat in my office at school. then i think, what the hell? then i feel sheepish. this has only happened a few times, though, so empathy is limited. hurry while supplies last. 
posted by Paully at 9:59 PM link/comments

news flash - mymum is a flat out, dead set legend (high Orstrayan praise)
 
posted by billyjoe noodle-bob at 6:47 PM link/comments

Melinda, my sweet - my online other... she who, with such grace and charm, can bowl in after five wear...... could you ever love a lolwy technical geek from Antipodean climes with no saving graces 'sides an unrivalled collection of Scandinavian porn and the ability to order a beer in twelve languages? Add that to the fact that, seeing as how i don't drink anymore, fully half of my skill set has fallen into disrepair, and it is truly a hollow shell of man you see. If you should stoop so low as to wish to receive my paltry excuses for affections (usually, given my pathological self absorption, limited to "What are you doing tonight? I'm watching TV - you wanna come over?" and "I'm tired") then by all means, send nude pictures by return post here

Next, with our hourly bulletin, the HOUSE NEWS team - with new F80 - ZsE.... there's this, this and this...... stay tuned for more updates......

 
posted by billyjoe noodle-bob at 6:30 PM link/comments

Okay, I wrote "sense" instead of "since" in my last post. Oh, the mortification.
Katy - I will go to New York if I can get into law school.
 
posted by Holly at 5:45 PM link/comments

So, I can't decide. There are two entirely separate groups of people in my life and I'm weighing the evidence on who is more screwed up than the other. Group one: Consists of approximately 95 children between the ages of 13 and fifteen. Average behavior includes such episodes as rubbing pencil shavings all over one's face and stating, with a perfectly straight face, that one is simply "protecting one's self from radiation". Group two: My housemates.
So far, the jury comes in at housemates. What the hell is with you guys and the alarm thing?? It's all onder the same theory that it's the cats who disconnect the antenna from the television. I personally believe that they're trying to pirate the neighbor's cable. Let's leave some tools around and see if they succeed.

Sean, stop being such a prick. YOu're coming to the god damned Halloween party if I have to drive up there myself and get you. There is no other option so stop looking for one.

KAte: if I can justify spending $23,000 on a Master's degree and living in NYC, I'm all about the New School's Master of Science in Teaching program. Either that, or I enroll at CSU this summer. If I could only find that winning lottery ticket, everything would be much simpler....

Yeah, and Billy, I'm feeling a little nelgected because I have NEVER been the object of your affections. I'm naked sometimes, too, you know. What's a girl gotta do?

Well, I'm off to the SIMS, where everything is much simpler and I am actually a success. 
posted by Melinda at 4:20 PM link/comments

For some bizarre reason, Holly has been under the impression for the duration of our three-year close friendship that I am far more cunning and devious than I let on. Let it be know that, while I certainly possess the capability to be cunning and devious, I generally use my power for good instead of evil. What she seems to constantly forget is that when one or more roommates asks me if I've committed some heinous crime, I usually own up to my own stupidity.


Case in point: Last week (while Holly was gone), I was sitting in the living room when I heard Melinda bellow from the kitchen, in that oh-so-maternal voice of hers, "Who the fuck left a single piece of bread on top of the microwave?" Doing my civic duty to God, Cabal, and Country, I admitted that it was I who was responsible for the foul deed. I had been in the process of making a sandwich when I reached into the bread bag and erroneously extracted three, rather than two, slices of marbled rye. I found myself between a rock and a hard place, though, when I realized that while one hand was occupied with the aforementioned bread, the other hand was occupied with such amenities as processed lunch meat and a jar of mayonnaise. So I simply tossed the bread atop the microwave and went about my culinary task. Unfortunately, I then forgot about the damned bread and went into the dining room to eat my sandwich and yell at Tiamet, who was in the process of batting felt-tip pens from the table onto the floor. When confronted by Melinda later, I confessed and told her the whole sordid tale, to which she replied, "Dude, it's no big deal. I just thought it was weird that there was bread on the microwave."


Besides, Holly, if I had really wanted to get away with some dastardly alarmclock-manipulating deed, do you really think I would have mentioned the fact that I'd slept in your room? We've both seen enough episodes of Law & Order to know better than to indict ourselves that easily.


(*Cackling to self: Certainly I have convinced her now. Little does she know that under the cover of night, I enter her bedchamber with the stealth of a thousand ninjas and silently remove the two metal prongs which connect her clock from the electrical outlet. Nothing can stop me now! ... Wha? ... What's this? ... Spiderman?? ... NO! ... Curses! ... You may have gotten me this time, but mark my words, the Alarmbell Vigilante will once again rise from her ashes like the fabled phoenix!

*long period of maniacal laughter*
 
posted by Kate at 3:41 PM link/comments

First: I would like to publicly apologize to Kate. I have wronged her, if only in my mind. On Tuesday my alarm did not go off due to it being unplugged at the time. I am an understanding master and did not hold a grudge against it at all. But the question remained - who unplugged it? who would have the most to gain? who had the opportunity? I couldn't think of who could benefit from my oversleeping, but as for opportunity. . .while staring perplexed at the socket in my wall I was rocked by the memory of a seemingly innocent conversation I had with Katy. Like the last ten minutes of "The Sixth Sense" or "The Spanish Prisoner" I realized that I had taken the casual conversation at face value and had utterly failed to detect the sinister undercurrents. Katy had mentioned that she had slept in my room while I was gone. Opportunity. That bitch. I asked her about it and she denied it. "Likely story," I sneered in my mind, "I know what you're all about." I kept my silence, however, and bided my time. Good thing, really, sense it happened again last night while I slept, so now I realize that it is actually our cats (I will interogate them in full when I get home to find out who the 'alpha feline' was...) are unplugging my alarm. Our cats are demonic creatures.

Second: Billy, I understand that love is a fickle creature, and hope that we'll always have Paris. Of course, we've never had Paris. Perhaps we should invade it. Anyway, completely fleeing from technological communication for a year does take it's toll on cyber-relationships, sigh. Of course, now I desperately want you back...hmmm...you love Katy due to her computer acumen, and Jen for her naked girl-loving. What if I started hanging around lesbian chat rooms?

And last but not least: Sean, can I come up wth a friend and sleep on your couch for a week (the week of November 13th)? I'll sleep in the bath tub and buy you beer. Oops, sorry, I forgot, you're in New York now and being all chic and sophisticated...I'll crash by your bidet and buy you wine.
 
posted by Holly at 3:18 PM link/comments

So, Sean, do you really keep a mental catalog of all your friends' IQ scores? I have this sudden urge to strike up a debate about the subjective nature of IQ scores, but I think I'll keep it quiet. I kind of think of this blog as a happy, witty place where friends keep each other informed and make each other smile, so on that fucking hippie-ass note, I'm going to go across the street to get a sandwich, where I'll stand in line and feel intimidated by and a small measure of scorn for the human race. If I'm lucky, I'll run into George, the insane-but-harmless homeless man who always tells me I'm pretty. Is it sick that I rely on this occasional affirmation? 
posted by Kate at 12:20 PM link/comments

wow - i need - and i mean need this house 
posted by billyjoe noodle-bob at 9:27 AM link/comments

Sean, are you always this haughty when you're online? Where's the sweet, unassuming Sean, or did you leave him in Cleveland? Maybe I'm just jealous. I keep getting all this crap in the mail from the New School and it practically jumps out of the envelope and screams, "YOU NEED TO COME HERE AND GET YOUR MA IN MEDIA STUDIES. GET THE HELL OUT OF CLEVELAND." And then for the rest of the day, I obsess over what I should do, become very nervous at the prospect of living in New York, weigh the ramifications, wonder how my cats would adjust to apartment life, decide that I'd probably have to quit smoking because I couldn't afford the smokes in NYC, think about how badly I want to be a full-time student again, ultimately decide that I need to just apply and see what happens, then erase the whole thought process from my head entirely. Until I get more mail from the New School. Then the mental funhouse reopens for business.


All: Tell me what I should do! This program in New York City is exactly, and I mean exactly, what I want to be studying, but there's all these practical matters to consider like finances and cats and how I can convince all my roommates to move to NYC with me. And then there's the whole subject of my mom being sick (those of you who are unaware of this tale of woe, email me and I'll explain the whole sordid affair) and living in New York would put me a six-hour drive away from her, instead of the 2.5 hour drive now. And then there's the part where I love my house and my housemates and our living situation and Cleveland really isn't that bad, is it? Help!


Um....Sean, I believe you have to share the limelight with someone else. October 24 is also my brother's birthday. In 1997? Melinda and I were probably sitting in our dorm room getting stoned. In 1996, however, we were in Cambridge, and I think we ate dinner at the Corner House, went to the theater, then went to a pub and got pissed. Or am I confusing this with someone else's birthday? 
posted by Kate at 9:08 AM link/comments

paul: am i hearing nietzschean resentiment? if derrida is "so twenty years ago", then maybe i ought to just stop by richard bernstein's office or nancy fraser's for a chat on pragmatism or feminism or to discuss hannah arendt...oh, the privileges of the new school.

bill: it would be much to your advantage (despite the financial difficulties you mentioned) to move to cleveland. australia has nothing on cleveland...in what respect i don't know...oh, yeah, kate and the crew are all there...

kate: hey, there's still a chance if this whole PhD acquisition, cosmopolitan lifestyle doesn't work out. yeah, yeah, yeah, i can see the possibility of me getting sick of the beautiful women, the exquisite wine, the city lights, the jazz, the drinking beer in the west village or soho till 3 am, the conversations of socialism over pasta, the quiet walks through central park or at lincoln center...the sitting alone in the dark of my room reading habermas's critical theory, the obsessing over sexual frustrations, the incessant dripping of my faucet, the little cracks in my ceiling who tell me that people are bad, that people are mean, that the mean bad people must go away...

all: unfortunately, you may be deprived of my fascist-in-drag clad presence on the 28th. i really don't have much money or time, and neither do i have any way of getting there. i really really do want to be there...but currently i'm stuck like kurt russell in this infernal city.

what have i done recently? well, i moderated a debate on the internet and its relation to democracy in class yesterday. my professor was extremely impressed with my presentation, and he's been very encouraging of my paper proposal which will involve the same subject.
what will i be doing in the near future? i'll probably be going out with my friend stacy (stats: 175 IQ, penobsquot and irish heritage, BA sociology from NYU, currently attending law school at fordham, very attractive, don's ex-girlfriend, musical prodigy who's played organ at notre dame cathedral) on friday, and i think there are a bunch of potential concerts coming up...

dates to remember: October 24. on this day we commemorate the birth of our true lord. do Melinda and Kate remember what they did this day in 1997?




 
posted by sean at 2:24 AM link/comments

Miss Helen is depressed.... drop her a line and tell her she's brilliant.....
 
posted by billyjoe noodle-bob at 12:17 AM link/comments

Wednesday, October 18, 2000

"After eight long years of corrupt, flag-burning hippies with their Addams Family-looking mutant cabinet running the country, I'd be perfectly happy just to see some normal adults runnings things, even if they aren't the sharpest knives in the drawer.

As for the difference between the Dems and the GOP, the author is correct, there is a difference: The Dems want to steal your money and waste it by shoveling it out to corrupt foreign leaders and crack heads. The GOP want to steal your money and use it to buy $2,000.00 toilet seats."

hahahahahahaha i love non-repentant fascists..... posted in reference to
this article on slashdot... quite long but worth a look - i don't know too much about the author, (David Brin) but he's got some interesting things to say regarding Dubya and Algor

 
posted by billyjoe noodle-bob at 6:59 PM link/comments

fucking shit hell bum poo fuck arse
i just lost a whole post by accidentally clicking on somethuing in an email.....here is an abbreviated version of my original post grouse. pics are here here and here. i have some amazing pants. i don't have a ph.d (or a degree at all for that matter), but i got in the top 3% of the state on my verbal SAT *giggle* GRASP that straw billyjoe...... can't move to cleveland, lots of furniture and an expensive car lease. no job, no visa - one of you marry me.... is mike single? bleahg need to go for coffeee eeeeee somebody post nudey pics of Jen (one or both) 
posted by billyjoe noodle-bob at 5:55 PM link/comments