billyjoebob, im flattered that you would jump the fence for me. i would jump the fence for you, too, except that besides being spoken for, i promised myself and posterity that the first man i threw myself at would be michael stipe. i realize thats probably very trendy of me, but it's an old, old crush, and so im willing to risk it.
kate, it's funny you should say that about kissing, because when i was originally writing what i wrote, i wrote "if someone ever kisses you, theyre going to have to kiss ick." or something like that. isnt that funny?
kate is going to kill me now.
my weekend has consisted of buying the book of short stories my major professor wrote and eating chili with corn bread. you might think this doesnt sound like much, but i'll refer you to my earlier philosophy about keeping the definition of exciting elastic.
oh, i also bought a bottle of scotch that came with a little gadget. it's a metal hoo-ha that affixes to the top of the bottle and then makes the scotch pour out in a thin, tight stream, causing it to even further resemble urine. the thingy is made of metal and has a counterweight on it. like those things bartenders put in the tops of their bottles so it looks like theyre pouring a lot but you really get half an ounce of liquor. so now i can trick myself into thinking im drinking a lot more than i am, and then i can realize the trick and get beligerant with myself, and then say something i'll regret and be forced to throw myself out.
so it's a full weekend after all.
posted by Paully at 2:43 AM link/comments
