ummm....so, i was kidnapped by...ummm...large, amazonian women with augmented..yes...augmented...very augmented...breasts who wanted to...umm.ahhh..who needed a male with superior deoxyribonucleic acid helixes swimming around his mitochondria so that they could reproduce. i, of course, was the perfect choice for them, and after snatching me away out of my car...no, it was a jet plane, my personal jet plane...they took me into their subacqueous vehicle to their wonderful land called.........Boobamania...and that is where they forced me into horriblly torturous carnal relations with what they called "breeders," who were absolutely gorgeous Amazonian women with great genes. yes, well, Boobamania is located in the center of the earth, and my prison cell was heavily guarded, and it took a while to incapacitate my guards and hitchhike back the earth's surface. but once i did reemerge into the land of the "Sun people" (amazonian term)...uhhh...umm...i ended up in idaho...which is really weird...cause idaho doesn't exist. so, i took up a job as an agent...of...of....of....of ill-mannered clowns and i tried to get them booked at the birthday parties of autistic children and avant-gard film festivals (because who else would put up with an ill-mannered clown)...and it took a while to make money this way...but i made enough money to get a bus back to new york and now here i am...blogging.
i hope you all believe me, because this is what really happened, and that is why i haven;t blogged for a while...
yeah...
posted by sean at 3:08 PM link/comments
