here at copyworks we have a variety of paper products, including a whole palettefull of different colors. one of these colors is called "Fireball fuscia," and it is every bit as eyeball-seering as the name suggests. in fact, it's one of the two papers here that you should never look directly at, and if held too close to your face it will change the color of your skin. one time i took a sheet of it home to jen and she demanded that i put it away. i plan on making a suit of armor out of this paper and then walking outside to the bar-crowd-filled streets and tearing up some frat boys, since theyll be too blinded to fight back.
some things i have learned about the mating habits of young iowans: the garb of today's sorority girl is a skimpy, armless, shoulderless shirt of some bright pastel color, with two spaghetti straps holding it together in the back, accompanied by stretch pants or loose slacks, either white or khaki, typically worn with copious gold earrings and necklaces. her mating call is a high-pitched trill that goes, roughly, "Yeee-how! Hahrck harchk! Whooo!" her potential mate, the frat boy, wears a tight-fitting t-shirt that accentuates his thick arms and thicker neck, accompanied by slacks, everything in earth tones, with a gold necklace and, if he's the more flamboyant variety, a gold earring. his mating call is "Aaauuuuugh! Yeeeeow! Owwwoooh!" they all appear to be having more fun than i am. both of them spray on artificial scents that seem to make them more attractive to one another but do a lot to repel me.
i have hit thr groove where things are almost kinda fun, sorta. certainly this is better than grading papers. in a few minutes im going to sweep the floor.
posted by Paully at 3:34 AM link/comments
