Tips from Holly "Always the bridesmaid - never the bride" McCoy (you know it's true because I am still stuck with the horrid moniker 'McCoy,' if I have to hear one more the Real McCoy or Hatfield joke I will killkillkill. Most girls check out a guys eyes, or butt, or package, I myself like a nice last name to get me purring).
1. When standing with back to audience during ceremony, do not wonder if your ass looks huge. You will start to obsess and not pay any attention at all.
2. YOUR PRIMARY JOB: keep the bride's mother from driving bride crazy.
3. cluck over bride, pamper, find things, talk in a soothing tone of voice. Only a small percentge of weddings I have been in/attended featured a relaxed, happy couple.
4. In th same vein, do not ask bride practical questions. Managing the next few hours for her is what you are there to do.
5. Do not taunt the happy fun bride.
6. This is most important - champagne punch might have some alcohol content, but it is lower than the morals of the guys who will hit on you because of the "bridesmaids are feeling vulnerable and therefore easily fucked." Do not depend on the punch to get those guys to look good. beer, wine, or liquor - not punch.
7. Last tip - even if you drink enough to make those guys look good - stay away.
posted by Holly at 12:39 PM link/comments
