So, um. Sorry I haven't posted in a while. Not working near a computer makes my blogging time limited. When I do get to check it, I usually have to click the "post last 50 messages" option and by the time a finish reading them, I am overwhelmed by the witticisms and that funny burning sensation I get in my retinas after staring at a computer screen for too long. Plus, the only interesting things I have to say have mostly to do with anecdotes about eighth graders. Eighth graders are not human. Today in class, I begged the body snatchers to release my actual students so we could get some work done. I don't think they got it.
Caine, (spelling?) our neighbor who was being stalked by the police, returned the favor last week when the student loan people called his house looking for me. So much for protecting your allies, man.
KAte, i brought home the Glory Field book for you today, having forgotten that you would have departed already by the time I came home. Tough luck.
posted by Melinda at 4:19 PM link/comments
Thursday, March 29, 2001
ooer i forgot to thank meg for that link.
posted by billyjoe noodle-bob at 5:48 PM link/comments
ummm don't quite know what to say - i can't work out how you'd control them, and i've been skating for three years.... heelys
posted by billyjoe noodle-bob at 5:45 PM link/comments
Yay. I have the day off tomorrow, so's I can drive to PA in Friday's daylight in my headlight-less vehicle. I'll most likely be posting much less incessantly whilst in Pennsylvania, if at all. Depends on whether I can get that relic my parents call a "computer" to function properly.
posted by Kate at 4:11 PM link/comments
Those of you with discerning canniablistic palates should click here. Via DeadMan.
posted by Kate at 12:17 PM link/comments
So this happened here in Cleveland yesterday, and guess who happened to be driving through that neighborhood at the time. Guy in front of me attempting to circumnavigate the mess ended up with his car floating briefly in 3 feet of standing water. His hood started steaming from all the water pouring in to his engine. Creepy.
posted by Kate at 9:26 AM link/comments
Decency code in Shaker Heights ... hahahahahahahahaha!! What most folks don't realize about Shaker is that while it is an affluent suburb in many parts, portions of it (namely the portion where we live) are in spitting distance of Cleveland proper, the result of which is that some of the city inevitably comes blowing into town. It's weird, and nearly inexplicable. Like I've never for a moment felt unsafe in our neighborhood, but weird stuff happens on our street all the time. Every so often, (I swear this is true) a swat team or similarly-armed law enforcement will turn up and create all sorts of havoc outside one of our neighbor's houses. It's never clear what's going on, and nothing ever turns up on the evening news. We don't ask questions, and none of the other neighbors seem particularly upset by it. There was one day when the Shaker Heights PD set up shop across the street from our next-door neighbors' house. They asked several of my housemates questions about one of the house's inhabitants (a guy who we know and are actually pretty fond of). Steve said he got the impression that the police suspected he was running drugs out of the house, to which the general housewide response was, "Really? So what? He's obviously not bothering anyone, so why do they care?" They have that no-garages-facing-the-street thing in quite a few cities in Summit County, too. When I was working for the paper, I had to sit through approximately 9,000 suburban zoning meetings where residents would come and beg the zoning commissions for permission to let their garages face the street. Really newsworthy stuff.
posted by Kate at 9:21 AM link/comments
Kate, isn't there some sort of decency code in Shaker Heights that outlaws bicolor cars? I mean, won't you be offending the good people of your ritzy neighborhood? In Aurora, Ohio, you're not supposed to build a garage that faces the road. It's actually part of their zoning code. In Ames, you're not allowed to walk an unmuzzled dog. I'm amazed that people bother to obey these rules.
Today at work, Betty asked me if I would still work for them from Idaho. I was like, "you know, Idaho is two times zones away, beyond some mountains, thus making it hard for me to work for you." She had been hoping that I would do "typing" for them, from Idaho. I pointed out that she could probably find someone in Iowa who knows how to type. She seemed dubious. Then I hit the disco lights and revved up the reading rave I've been so wanting to have in the silent, elderly halls of Middle America's Last Great Speed Reading Venue.
posted by Jen at 12:16 AM link/comments
Wednesday, March 28, 2001
ok - absolute final all your base link but this is priceless - here thanks mightily to luke
posted by billyjoe noodle-bob at 9:48 PM link/comments
i am a party animal. dont get me wrong, i dont party a whole lot, and im not an animal in the traditional sense of the word. but none of this stops me from being a party animal. i get up, then i get down. i get funky, then i get off. then i get back on. i have fangs, and i chew with my teeth bared, and sometimes the funk doesnt stop until i stop the funk. other times the funk never even starts, cause im outside on the patio howling at the moon, because i am a party animal, and when you come and howl with me, youll be a party animal, too.
there was a time in my life, before i had adopted the mantle of party animal, that i would have been humiliated to drive around in a bicolor car. then i passed through the time when i would have sought a bicolor car just because that motherfucker had two colors, and two colors is barely enough to contain the animal inside my party animal self. now i have reached the point where a bicolor car sounds perfectly reasonable because it's cheaper that way, and why bother painting the car when you could spend that money on a case of scotch and a funnel? you can see where im coming from here.
today i spoke with a student in my office for a full thirty minutes, and she didnt cry once. not a single tear. i may be losing my touch, but it's easier this way. party animals dont like people to cry so much as we like people screaming while someone squirts them with scotch and someone else lights a bonfire. none of that happened with my student, but she did leave with a better understanding of how to properly organize a paper, and while that's not a very party animal thing to find joy in, it is nonetheless a joyful thing. because im only a party animal by night--by day im a meek, mild-mannered English teacher. and when people look at me during the day, they sigh and wonder how i can tolerate living such a dull life. it's then that i begin circling them in a menacing, wolf-like way and invoke Nicole Kidman in Eyes Wide Shut as i retort, "If you only knew. If you only knew what goes through the mind of mild-mannered English teachers, you would never sleep another night of your life."
Note: Noah Webster was not a party animal. in fact, some would describe him as the opposite of a party animal, the kind of man who would hold regular seminars to educate his own children on the proper way to be efficient. efficiency was a goal unto itself for Webster, a kind of cult that he and his friends finally turned into a full-fledged religion by making it the aim of good Christians everywhere. he was so devoted to efficiency, lavished so much attention upon it, that he turned against his own language. unlike G. B. Shaw, who took a knife to punctuation, Webster took his knife to spelling. one does not pronounce the "u" in "colour," he reasoned, and so one should not waste time writing it. this minutiae was exactly the extent to which Webster carried his obsession with efficiency. if no use could be found for them within a word, all unwary u's were obliterated from the English language. Brits and other English-speaking people have never forgiven us for what Webster did to their language. i have never forgiven him for what he did to our psyches. next time someone flies by you on the highway, chatting on their cel phone with one hand and eating a Big Mac with the other, think of Webster. he is, of course, the very same man who penned the first American dictionary, who helped pass the Fugitive Slave Act that required Northerners to aid Southern land owners in recapturing escaped slaves, who pissed Thoreau and Emerson off more than anyone else could.
me? im a party animal. and on Friday the 13th, Good Friday, the last day one can have oral examinations if one hopes to graduate in the spring with an M.A. from Iowa State University, i will take off my collar, spit out this muzzle, and begin one long, concerted howl at the moon. the scotch will flow like water. and the funk, once going, will never, ever stop.
posted by Paully at 7:55 PM link/comments
g e t f u n k y
posted by billyjoe noodle-bob at 6:36 PM link/comments
there are sixteen people authorised to post on this blog. plus two pending authorisations. that makes twenty seven.
posted by billyjoe noodle-bob at 5:45 PM link/comments
no way - i say paint not. bi-colour (note the "u" in colour you heathens) vehicles are very ofay with the club set down here - we know nothing of the "cosmos" of which you speak, however we like to consume a rather impertinent little drinky known as "vicbittamate" - it comes in these ever so cute green cans. One need not bring one's laptop bag to the soiree, however forgetting one's flannel shirt may result in being held back at the door. Mother always wanted a sticker which read "my kid beats up your honour student", but i maintained that a more appropriate one would be "my kid would be an honour student if your curriculum wasn't so fucking boring". I suppose the fact that I'm now a curriculum writer is, in the Alanis Morrisette definition of the word, quite ironic. When the hell are we going to desist with the blogvoices and just let paleblue post? Hangon, I have admin access. paleblue, welcome to the fold *hugs*
posted by billyjoe noodle-bob at 5:27 PM link/comments
Yup. I remember that bumper sticker well. The truck in question was travelling along Route 700 out near Hiram, I believe. Those of you familiar with the area around Route 700 know that a ratty pickup truck is definitely not out of place there. No reason to beat me, mother. I do a good enough job of that myself. But it's all your fault, because you're the one who bought me the inline skates. *grin* So I'm going home to PA this weekend because (this is all very exciting) my dad and brother have managed to procure a non-damaged door and fender compatible with a 1990 Pontiac Firebird, and they're going to FIX MY CAR DOOR!!! I'm so happy. My days of nontraditional vehicular exiting are nearly at an end! Best part: My car's gray; the new door's blue. I suppose this means it'll need a paint job ... unless, Bill, you prefer to drive from Cleveland to North Yarmouth in a bicolor vehicle.
posted by Kate at 12:43 PM link/comments
What the hell? More Lindas! Now one in New Mexico. Yes! We will soon be ruling the world!
Speaking of bumper stickers, I once saw a ratty pickup truck sporting a bumper sticker which read,"My kid ain't no honor student noplace." Remember that, Kate?
Can't wait to see you on Friday. I think I will beat you for no good reason, although I'm sure I can come up with one. When I meet Billyjoebob I can beat him for Lindathemum if she can't wait. Yes, it sounds like she and I were Siamese twins joined at the brain at one time. "Blogmothers Union Kicks Ass."
posted by Linda at 11:40 AM link/comments
Oh...Cosmos=Cosmopolitans. Cocktail apparently very popular with the club set at the moment. They're actually pretty yummy.
posted by Kate at 10:11 AM link/comments
Bill! Where in the name of all things unholy did you find that email conversation?? *falling off chair laughing, rolling around under desk*
posted by Kate at 9:14 AM link/comments
Jen, I think we should do it. I think there's potential here for us to develop a cult collegiate following. We could be the theatrical equivalent of flicks like "Evil Dead 2" and "Reefer Madness." Think of the possibilities. Last night Housemate Jen said something very funny while I was drinking water, and I started to laugh and sprayed water all over the living room. Then I curled up with my head under a couch cushion for awhile to recover from the embarrassment. Slapstick genius, I tell you. Comment: Name: Pale Blue
Email: paleblue@darkblue.2ndmail.com
Targeting the collegiate toker demographic would be a license to print money ... and they\'re SO loyal.
As a short-cut, you could simply combine existing cult hits, and you\'d have a sure-fire hit on your hands eg.
Films: Evil Madness ... Reefer Dead 2
Heroes: Che Lennon ... John Guevara
Music: The Dootles ... The Bears
And on and on and on, but ... um ... I think I might stop now.
posted by Kate at 8:39 AM link/comments
Tuesday, March 27, 2001
Paully is a bit of terror when it comes to catching kiddies and their plagiarized paragraphs. He's hooked a number of suspicious fishies, but this was the first that cried, I think. But who wouldn't agree that it's good to cry when you're in academic distress? Kate, I thought your Academic Fuzz scene was very funny. Maybe you can go on the road with it as a one-act cheating deterrant. Like that crime-fighing dog or the NRA's Eddie the Eagle or Smoky the Bear. "Only you can prevent plagiarism!" Like that.
Bill, it's shameful that you didn't know your mum was in New Mexico. C'mon, even I knew.
The diagnosis on my angry-sounding car is a broken ball bearing, which, of course, had to be ordered from the far reaches of the globe, so I've been cruising the aorta of Iowa (that's I-35) in Paul's car this week and thinking how I like his car better than I like mine. Next I'll start sleeping on his side of the bed, wearing his clothes, making his students cry, and assuming authorship of his thesis.
Just part of the master plan. You understand.
posted by Jen at 11:44 PM link/comments
Yipes. I leave you people in my blog for 5 hours unattended and look what happens. Posts all over the damn place. Bill's going to be here in 8 weeks! Yaayyyy! To celebrate, I'm sitting at Mike's desk eating bacon and posting to the blog. (Hey; it's Tuesday night. Give me a break.) I presume, Paul, that you were going to report this girl to the academic fuzz. I'm trying to envision the scene as a bunch of uniformed cops bust down her dormroom door ... "You! Move away from the world wide web and get down on the floor. Thaaaaat's it. Niiiiiice and easy." And then they'd cuff her and haul her off to the hoosegow. I think I watch too much Law and Order.. I'm off to bed, because I'm tired and because I'm beginning to question why the hell I just ate bacon at 10:40 p.m. Augh.
posted by Kate at 10:25 PM link/comments
Paully - I wouldn't believe for a minute that you don't love your mother. Isn't she the one that is going to travel to Idaho with you in the big red truck? Or am I really confused?
to continue the New Mexico story - we stayed with our friends Hugh and Linda - Hugh has a Harley and loves to cook, and has a stove that almost had the Polish Prince weeping with envy. Linda has a birght red fully restored MG - her sons gave it to her for her birthday. This was for ther 60th birthday - so anyone who wanted to buy one for me has a lot of time to save. *he he*
posted by lindathemum at 10:03 PM link/comments
and they have those fucking bumper stickers which say "My child is an honour student at (insert dead president's name) High School" to which my reply would inevitably be "yeah because you do all their friggin homework"
posted by billyjoe noodle-bob at 8:17 PM link/comments
im not saying i dont love my mother. only assholes dont love their mothers, or people whose mothers were assholes, and (i like to think that) neither of those stipulations apply to me. in fact, i love mothers in general, as long as theyre kind people. but theres one kind of mother i dont like: those who drive mini-vans with a complete disregard for the other drivers who share their road. the kind of mothers who are too busy gushing over their children to pay attention to the fact that my car is in front of them and, in order to avoid a collision, they should stop. the kind who wield children like weapons, saying things like "How can you publish this when my children could accidentally pick it up and read it? My god! THE CHILDREN!
so i guess i hate children, is what im trying to say.
PaleBlue should be careful. i read a book once about how someone wrote a fictional account of a secret society called the Order of the Rosy Cross, or Rosicrucians. at the time no such order existed. the book became wildly popular, however, and people began believing, despite all evidence to the contrary, that the Rosicrucians really existed. it didnt take long for someone to actually found a secret society of the Order of the Rosy Cross, and then people used that as their evidence that the order had existed the whole time. what im saying, Mr. Blue, is that it's unbearably tempting to think your reality TV show is real, even though im pretty sure it's not. and if you keep that up, it wont be too long before a Fox producer latches onto the idea and runs with it.
what i said to the student who cried was, "Why did you plagiarize this paragraph in your paper from this site on the internet?" she answered with her tears and an unspoken mea culpa. i told her to write me a letter about why i shouldnt flunk her ass and report her to the fuzz, and she agreed this was better than being failed and sent home in abject shame. im not such a bad guy, you know.
new mexico sounds paridisical. which is why im going to weep soft tears and dream of new mexico instead of writing more to the blog. before i go, though, i want to say that Mighty Girl is funny, lindathemum has her priorities right, billyjoebob is coming to america, he coming to america, he coming to america today!, and kate, ive played that game before, except i used steaming water from the kitchen sink to break through the ice shield--i recommend it as a way to speed through those difficult middle rounds. think of it as a Nintendo Power cheat code.
posted by Paully at 7:52 PM link/comments
OH MY note: if you're reading this at work - beware - your colleagues may think you strange when you begin to snort in an attempt to stifle the giggles caused by this email conversation.
posted by billyjoe noodle-bob at 7:35 PM link/comments
So - Bill, weren't you wondering where I was going when I said I was off to the airport? And please refer to bit where the only thing mothers want is for their children to call them sometimes. And - the odd martini, cup of tea etc.
posted by lindathemum at 6:19 PM link/comments
OK so i must say that I don't know who the mysterious protagonists with the laptop bags are, I know that I have one, but i don't keep my laptop in it (the more cynical among you may think that this is because i don't have a laptop - you'd be right). On second thoughts - what the hell is Cosmos? Is it some kind of Zima like thing? I can't even make snide remarks about the weather in Australia any more,
Mum I must be a bad child - I didn't know you were going to new mexico.... i hope you had fun in the sun.
a) because it's turned a bit chilly (would you believe it was 12 degrees celsius this morning?) (about 50 i think) and
b) I'm going to be there in
posted by billyjoe noodle-bob at 5:21 PM link/comments
This from today's installment of Mighty Girl: Who are these women who come to clubs wearing fishnets, come-hither skirts, appropriately obvious tank tops, and... laptop bags? I know they didn't come from work, so I have to wonder what the hell is in that bag that they must have with them at all times. I watch as they order Cosmos and sway on the dance floor, trying their damndest to look carefree and nonchalant. This effect is difficult to achieve, no matter how much body glitter you've applied, when you're hunched under the weight of a 30 lb. bag.
It perplexes me, but I have theories. Perhaps this woman must carry a full arsenal of concealer, base, blush creme, liner, lipstick, and shadow every time she goes out. Maybe she has an alternate outfit stashed in there (say, some snow pants and ski boots in case the weather turns). Maybe she thought it would be too risky to leave the severed human head in her car. A little advice, ladies: lipstick, and $50 bucks fits in your pocket. The head goes in your freezer.
posted by Kate at 3:40 PM link/comments
Hey, Paul, what a coincidence. I used isopropyl alcohol yesterday, too. Instead of cleaning computer components, however, I was cleaning my blood-soaked knee, a trophy from my comical spill in the driveway. I'm getting a strange sense of delight from this injury. It's been a long damn time since I've skinned my knee to the point of flowing blood. Reminds me of being a dirty-kneed kid in the backyard. And what did you say to that poor student to make her cry?
posted by Kate at 3:15 PM link/comments
Welcome back, Linda. Thank God someone got to enjoy warm weather. I, on the other hand, got to play my favorite game this morning called "Hey! Is That My Car, Or Just a Big Snowdrift In the Driveway?" It involves shuffling along the driveway, painfully aware of the six-inch solid sheath of ice under your feet, until you reach a giant pile of snow. Then the player traditionally begins pawing at the pile of snow in hopes of finding something that feels like a door handle. If he or she is lucky, he or she is able to both find said handle and open the car door. This scenario, however, is extremely unlikely, and the general course of events usually involves the player tugging widly at the door in an attempt to break the icy mess that has sealed the door shut, all the while doing a cartoonish dance/skitter, which is a futile attempt to keep her balance on the aforementioned sheath o' slippery. The player wins the game when all of the following occurs: 1) She is able to effectively remove approximately 27 pounds of snow from the hatchback, roof, windows, and hood of her car; 2) She manages to coax the car into warming up enough to make the defroster operable; 3) She manages to back out of the death-inducing driveway without sliding into the neighbors' front yard. Very sporting, really.
posted by Kate at 1:53 PM link/comments
Back from beautiful New Mexico. I’m sure there are better things than lolling around in a home where the host has been saving up all the really good wine for you, and wants to try out his newest gourmet recipes, and by the way the sun is shining and the news from home is they are expecting another foot or so of snow – but gee – it was pretty bloody good.
New Mexico is an interesting place – pueblos, astounding scenery, great art – and not having to go to work. Phil was disappointed that our friend Hugh didn’t take him out on the Harley, but there is always next time.
I like the new blog Kate – but a biography? Where should I start? I was born at a very early age?
About Bill and organization – he’s right about getting vacations organized. It’s nice to be freewheeling, but hearing all the things you plan to do (spend time in the UP, visit Grandma on the way, drive to Portland, go to a wedding, see lots of friends, spend time with mother) a bit of organization might make it all easier.
Don’t worry about the Blogmothers Union. All mothers want is for their children to be happy. And an occasional communication from said children (are you listening Bill?). And if it wouldn’t be too much trouble, the odd martini, cup of tea or glass of red wine. The longer this goes on the more I realize that Lindathemom, and I are actually sisters separated at birth – I’m with you - who’d want to go to heaven with Mother Theresa when you could be in hell with the interesting people. And Paully – it’s always the mother’s fault – just ask Bill.
As for knowing about technology – I am a technodweeb – ask any of the boys. I have a great deal of admiration for people who act as if they know what they are doing. But I did do a basic mechanics course back when the boys where little and I was a single mum. I learnt enough to know that there are fuses in a car, and that you should get the headlights fixed Kate – you might need them one day.
It's nice to be home - even though I have to go to work tomorrow.
posted by lindathemum at 12:48 PM link/comments
All right, all right. What the hell is going on with this? While I'm not about to launch off into the age-old debate of "Does PMS Really Exist?", I'm a little skeptical here. First off, I really need to see the research on this new "disorder" ... putting women on seratonin-altering drugs for hormonal issues? I just don't know. Secondly (and this is the kicker for me), take a look at the drug's pharmaceutical name: fluoxetine hydrochloride. It's Prozac, for chrissakes. And, to top it all off, they have some weird support venue for these sufferers of "Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder." I just don't know. It's all a little unsettling, if you ask me.
posted by Kate at 12:15 PM link/comments
You know, it's bad enough that the in-box of both my email addresses is constantly filled with spam and mindless "send-this-message-to-every-breathing-human-being-on-the-planet-or-giant-anvils-will-crush-you-as-you-cross-the-street" forwards, but lately my mother's cousin has been sending me all this Christian propaganda, and it's absolutely nauseating. (To Mom: If Regina doesn't quit sending me all this crap, I'm driving to South Carolina and braining her.) This latest one was a petition to stop "the atheists" (you know, the evil atheists who spend their days worshipping Satan and nailing small woodland creatures to trees). Apparently, according to this email, which by the way attains new heights of spelling and grammatical errors, there's a group who wants to stop public radio stations from airing religious services on Sunday morning. Well, fuck yes, we should stop religious services from airing on public radio. It's bloody public radio!!!! It's funded by taxpayer money, which comes from the government, and in case anyone hasn't been paying attention for the past 225 years, we have a little something in our lawbooks called the separation of church and state. Jesus H. Tapdancing Christ in a sidecar. Maybe all the Christians are right and I'll be going to Hell at the end of it all. But in the immortal words of LindaTheMom: "I'm going to Hell? Good. All my friends will be there anyway." Reminds me of a joke: Guy dies and goes to heaven, where he's met by an angel. Angel takes him down a hallway containing three doors and tells the guy to take a look inside each door and decide in which room he wants to spend eternity. He opens the first door and sees nothing but hedonism. People drinking, smoking weed, huge orgy, loud music, etc. Opens the second door and it's more of the same: naked people in hot tubs eating caloric desserts and sipping Dom Perignon whilst getting backrubs from Helen of Troy ... that sort of thing. Guy opens the third door to find a very different scene. The room is stark and white with fluorescent lighting. Everyone in it is dressed in business attire: suits, ties, uncomfortable shoes. What's worse, they're all standing with their back to the walls in perfect silence with solemn looks on their faces. Guy looks at the angel and says, "What the hell, man? Why would anyone choose this door? Is this some kind of test?" Angel puts his finger to his lips, giggles, and says, "Shhhhh. Those are the Christians. They think they're the only ones here."
posted by Kate at 11:34 AM link/comments
it's not that im a big fan of star trek or anything. but ive lately grown nostalgic for watching that Deep Space Nine show, which seems like a lame version of a lame version of that one star trek episode that was fucking awesome. you remember the one, where picard is bitching out that Q guy and he busts out the Hamlet, and he's all like, "What Hamlet set with irony I now say with conviction: What a piece of work is man. How noble in reason, how infinite in faculty," and it went on and on and you were like Hell YEAH! that guy IS a shakespearean actor, and he WILL hamlet all over your ass. HELL yeah. so now you watch that guy with the tattoo wax philosophical about his people, and you think, this is a loathsome, offensive show, yet i cant look away (i cribbed that line from an old Seinfeld episode, and it makes me laugh to this day). Comment: Name: Pale Blue
i bought a bottle of Isopropyl alcohol at the store for like $ .65, and i was astonished at how cheap and easy it was to come by this stuff. i have it sitting close to me on my desk now, and i use it to clean my mouse and other delicate electronic products. it makes me so happy. i didnt know it was possible to buy so much joy for less than a dollar.
i have pretty much finished my thesis, for the most part, and today i made a student cry, which means that i am done for the day. so i sat around feeling jittery all evening, like a heroin addict who has no smack, and then i paced a little while. im still trying to figure out what to do with my exhausted, keyed up self. i'll let you know what i decide.
poor student. she waited until she had left my office to really start crying, which was nice of her. but even so, i felt like an asshole. in a good way, mind you.
okay, so jen is standing over my shoulder right now and critiquing my blog entry AS I TYPE IT, which as you probably know makes any kind of creativity like twenty times harder. it's like i ate glass and now im trying to pass it, and jen is laughing at me. so im signing off now. thanks, jen.
Email: paleblue@darkblue.2ndmail.com
I couldn\'t comment on the Star Trek / Deep Space Nine thing, but the sad
decline in the standards of spin-off shows IS distressing.
Let me offer a reason to be happy, in the continuing rude health of \'reality
shows\' - some of which are really starting to explore the boundaries of what
you can do with a group of people who need attention like they need oxygen.
Recently, I\'ve been glued to the latest reality show to hit the UK; \'Cave
of the Brave\'.
It\'s almost exactly the same premise as all of the \'small, diverse group of
people vs mother nature\' shows, except that this one is intended to
replicate life as a Neanderthal. I was slightly sceptical when I heard the
game\'s premise, but like the best-designed reality shows, it\'s actually
completely absorbing.
The twelve contestants have been living in a cave about 200 miles north-west
of the Mongolian city Erdenet, near the Yenisey river. A shoulder of granite
rises up from the steppe, with numerous caves on the south-facing slopes.
Each contestant was given a fur to wear, but no other possessions were
allowed.
Anyway, it\'s been very educational, and pretty gripping at times.
It took the group some time to get used to the freezing Mongolian winds, and
the tough, abrasive Mongolian grass - in fact, the vast majority of the group
swore not to even leave the cave, and one of them briefly chased after the
helicopter after being dropped off, but after numerous appeals to the cameras
had proved fruitless, they had no choice but to go out hunting.
Little by little, they have adapted to their new way of life. Many of them
spend their days huddled together at the back of the cave, cursing
semi-audibly. Others have demonstrated more ingenuity.
A software programmer from Cambridge and a yoga-teacher from Whitby managed
to catch the group\'s first substantial meal ten days after the game started:
as a hapless yak passed through a narrow path between overhanging shelves of
rock, they dropped a boulder on it.
But the group\'s joy was short-lived when a) they found that Mongolian grass
is difficult to light, and b) the yak belonged to an indigenous band of
nomadic farmers, who chased them across the steppe for hours before catching
a financial director from Hull and taking him to Erdenet, where he was sold
to a local merchant.
Last week, there was a near-revolt, when one of the group claimed to have
found a deeper, drier cave on the north-facing side of the rock, and tried to
entice several of the group\'s colder members to join him. The debate
developed along fairly predictable lines - it was a fairly simple, \'fear of
the unknown vs potential warmth\' debate - but it became so heated that the
instigator (a milkman from Essex) was eventually driven out by the others,
and now roams the steppe, howling.
Personally, I\'m looking forward to next week\'s episode, where the producers
plan to up the stakes by introducing a group of Homo Sapiens (played by
actors) into the equation, and leaving the two units to fight over the
territory\'s meagre resources.
posted by Paully at 2:29 AM link/comments
I watched random bits of the Oscars between making 16 oz. Amaretto Sours. Mostly I yawned. Mostly I thought about an article I read that explained the complexities of camera assignments. Like, for example, your cue is on Tom Hanks. If he wins, you got it easy and you just keep your camera on him. But if someone else wins, you've got this infinitely complex arrangement of celebrities you have to pan to and focus on instead.
Hey Ohio, I'm not sorry about your snow. Everyday I look at my soon-to-be-daffodils and I do little cheers for them, because it wasn't so long ago that there was a mini-glacier inching across our backyard. Crouching daffodil, hidden crocus.
So James's's's friend Chuck was here. He and James took off to meet the 12:05 Greyhound outta Ames. Meanwhile, Paul and I sat on the couch eating fake meat products, and it slowly dawned on us that Chuck's all-important bus ticket was sitting on the bookshelf. But there wasn't much we could do, other than speculate about whether that was REALLY the bus ticket. So James and Chuck came crashing back into the apartment about 20 minutes later, frantic for the bus ticket, and I guess Chuck made it back to the station on time. I'm not sure why I've related this bit of the evening to the Blog, other than it illustrates one of those situations where you know you ought to help out but can't possibly figure out how to do it, so you just shrug and watch Star Trek and enjoy your fake meat products.
posted by Jen at 1:37 AM link/comments
Monday, March 26, 2001
In any case, i think i have to play this game.... it looks like FAR too much fun......
posted by billyjoe noodle-bob at 10:42 PM link/comments
If your sources are accurate, Bill, I'd say that this "someone" must have been a bit more than "in a fillum" with Mr. Crowe. I don't think I know anyone who's slept with a famous person, although Steve has some chick friend in Detroit who dated Weird Al Yankovich for awhile. And I had a dream once where I was dating George Clooney. Cursed consciousness intervened and ruined everything. Another exciting Monday evening here at the Cabal. I fell asleep for a long time on the couch this evening, which means I won't be able to go to sleep at a normal hour. Apparently Holly tried to wake me and I threatened to kill her. I remember none of this. I think she's making shit up again. Winter decided to thumb its nose at Cleveland one last time, consequently dumping the better part of a foot of snow on us yesterday. Our driveway is (surprise!) a sheet of ice, and upon my return from work this afternoon, I treated myself to a hilarious spill right near the front steps. Was carrying the mail from the box at the time, so when I fell, envelopes and magazines went spraying across the lawn. My slapstick genius is infinite.
posted by Kate at 9:35 PM link/comments
oh yeah shit i almost forgot, Mr 4.0 has taken to blogging his trip over at omfg check it out - i'm probably going to do something similar with billyjoeblog one day......
posted by billyjoe noodle-bob at 6:49 PM link/comments
Rumor has it (I know someone who was in a fillum with him once) that whilst engaging in conjugal activities, Mr Crowe (R, not C) can be heard to egg himself on - as in "Go Russ, Go Russ" *giggle*
posted by billyjoe noodle-bob at 5:05 PM link/comments
We watched the bloody Oscars last night, with the sound turned off and the radio on, because who the hell would want to hear those gushy acceptance speeches, anyway. It was decided that we should host our own awards show based on the Oscars. Here now are a few of the categories and their winners (judging done by Kate, Melinda, and Holly) ... Celebrity We'd Most Like to Slap: Russell Crowe. Sorry, Australians, but after the 25th time the camera panned to a glimpse of that man's unsmiling mug and his wretched NewKidsOnTheBlock-esque bouffant, we'd all had enough. And besides, what right did Gladiator have to win all those awards? Better film than Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon? Not a chance, you anglophile Academy bastards. Woman We'd Most Likely Jump the Fence For: Penelope Cruz, although Holly and I felt strongly that Catherine Zeta-Jones should have been given more of a fair shake. Melinda doesn't like her. Movie that Should Have Damn Well Been Included in All the Big Categories: O Brother, Where Art Thou? This movie was absolutely fantastic and members of the Academy should be dragged individually into the street and slapped about with wet fish for overlooking it. Male Star Most Likely to Make a Couchload of Mid-20s Women Swoon: Benecio Del Toro. Phweef. That's all I'm saying. Comment: Name: Pale Blue
Email: paleblue@darkblue.2ndmail.com
Anglophile? Why anglophile? And how is it possible to use the words
\'anglophile\' and \'bastards\' in such close proxiimity?
posted by Kate at 2:04 PM link/comments
Yippee! Loads of fun and scandal to be had over at The Smoking Gun.
posted by Kate at 1:34 PM link/comments
So I arrived at the office this morning to find an email informing me that I'd been nominated for office in the university faculty/staff/student women's coalition. I have until Wednesday to decide whether I want to do this. On one hand, I'm extremely flattered that my name popped up in an organization that purports to serve the roughly 7,500 women affiliated with this place. On the other hand, I can already see myself sitting in countless meetings praying for death and thinking, "Why the hell did I do this?" I don't know how I feel about the concept of being a part of a socially-conscious group that's directly related to my place of employment. Then again, it might be gratifying to feel like I'm part of some governing organization around here. Hmmm. Advice, my dear bloggers?
posted by Kate at 11:39 AM link/comments
SEAN! So glad you're not dead! Been missing you. Are you coming back for summer? Cause, I mean, who would eant to be in New York City when you could be in Cleveland? Ummm...yeah. Comment: \'Plae Blue\'?! Heh. I like that! Very Ancient Greece.
Plae Blue - maybe it would make you feel better to believe that the tape wasn't destroyed, but some employee stole it rocks out to it every morning. It may be getting love somewhere, passed down to a hypothetical little brother or sister. Not as good as going to the intended source, but better than pitcuring it burned.
My last car, Mr. White, didn't have a gas pedal. I liked it that way, it was easier to feel every change in the vibrations from the engine. I knew exactly when it was having a problem, before noises began. It made me feel more in tune with him. The tiny little nub was a pain to find when I it was so cold my feet were numb though. I figured the inability for a thief to drive it as balancing that out. Not that anyone would want to steal it.
I hadn\'t thought that my tape may not have been destroyed, that it might
have been granted a reprieve and given a new life by some musically
switched-on Thai FedEx employee ...
Now that you mention it, I\'m starting to think that the destruction story
may have been a complete fabrication from start to finish, and the FedEx
Bangkok depot listens to my tape morning, noon, and night.
Thank you Hloly!
posted by Holly at 11:22 AM link/comments
Aw, come on, Bill. You don't want to damage Paul's self esteem, do you? If Paul wants to run around his own apartment and traumatize his own guests, then that's his godgiven right as an American. Work it, sister! *snaps fingers* *giggle*
posted by Kate at 9:21 AM link/comments
Paully. Teddy. Visual. badbadbadbadbadbadbadbadbadbadbadbadbadbadbadbadbadbadbadbad convulsions. help.
posted by billyjoe noodle-bob at 12:38 AM link/comments
Sunday, March 25, 2001
kate, i say dont fix your headlights. when i was a teenage rockstar (minus the rockstar part, and add "hopeless geek"), some crucial part of my car would routinely falter. then there would be a conversation between me and my father that started with him saying, "How's the car?" and me saying, "Oh, it's great. Everything's fine. It would be neat if the gas pedal hadn't fallen off, but otherwise it's just dandy." then my dad would steal the car, mumbling something about a "Mechanic" (whatever that is), and months later i would get the car back, gas pedal and all. so i quickly learned that mentioning anything wrong with the car would leave me without said car (or "transportation," which to a teenage boy translates into "precious blood and nourishing oxygen of life") and i have been tight-lipped about mechanical failures ever since. so i say, just pretend that the headlights still work fine. i once pretended for two weeks that my steering wheel worked fine, even though it really wouldnt turn anymore, and i survived despite several narrow misses.
james's friend is here. he's a strapping lad with dark hair and a gloomy disposition. im going to cheer him up and then make him mine. he's sleeping on the couch right now, so im thinking of putting on a teddy and going down there. i'll let you know what i decide.
that mr. Pale Blue has it right about customer service reps. one time a package my friend had ordered under the care of Fed Ex was devoured, and Fed Ex was like "Sorry." and he was like, "Umm, don't you have some kind of guarantee about packages being delivered on time?" and Fed Ex was like, "Oh sure, we guarantee delivery. But the guarantee isn't good for anything. It's not like you get your money back or something." so that was the end of that. since then i have hated Fed Ex. learning that it's nothing more than a bunch of audio cassette executioners over there doesnt surprise me at all. something must be done to stop them.
well folks, it's late and im drunk. so im going to stumble around the internet and make beligerant comments until i get kicked out. then im going to stand outside the internet in a smelly bathrobe and protest being kicked out until they call the cops on me.
posted by Paully at 1:32 AM link/comments
Saturday, March 24, 2001
Kate! Get your headlights fixed. That's dangerous. What the hell. But hey, my car has decided to add to its repetoire of strange noises, so the car and I will be visiting a mechanic on Monday, who will no doubt find something expensive that needs to be fixed. It's the expense of unknown noise.
Last night, Paul and I made a foolhardy attempt to eat dinner at a new restaurant in Ames. It's purported to be Irish, and is inappropriately named Dublin Bay, given that Iowa is nowhere near Dublin or a bay. Anyway. We got there around 6, again foolishly thinking we were somehow beating the usual dinner crowd. Of course, it was packed -- the wait was over an hour, and I could tell by the hostess eyeing my jeans-and-t-shirt dinner attire that for me, it would be two hours. The highlight of our brief foray to Dublin Bay was that someone had driven a black porsche right up to the door and pretty much parked it there. Paul was distraught that someone in Ames, or Iowa for that matter, drives a Porsche to pseudo-Irish restaurants. The reasoning is that if you own a Porsche, you pretty much don't HAVE to live in Iowa, and you're just showing off more than usual.
In other highlights, about 200 Vermont sheep who might have the sheep-variant of Mad Cow disease are munching their final meals at the National Animal Disease Lab in Ames. I could ride my bike over to the heavily-guarded gates right now. When the livestock trucks reached I-35 (that's the main highway into Ames) the state police formed a moving barracade around the trucks. Such excitement. I hardly know what to do with my vegetarian self.
posted by Jen at 2:50 PM link/comments
Friday, March 23, 2001
Playing with computers is nothing like knowing how to fix a car. Computers make sense; cars do not. I find it incomprehensibly amazing that there are people walking this earth that know how cars work. I have tried to understand; I really have. A mechanic will look at me and say something like, "Problem is you need a new distributor cap," and I'll nod and cluck as if to say, "Ah, yes! The distributor cap. That old codger's always foiling me!" when really the mechanic could have told me my transmission was possessed by agents of Satan and I'd be just as likely to believe him. This is why I get down on my knees on a nightly basis and thank the heavens for people in my life like my dad and my brother and Melinda, who have the Godlike ability to understand the things. A couple of weeks ago it was brought to my attention by Zack, who has acute powers of observation, that my car's headlights weren't working. I was vaguely confused as to why both headlights would go out at once, and I relayed my concerns to housemates and friends one evening. I also told them of other recent car traumas, which included my frustration that the power doors locks and interior lights had recently stopped functioning. A short discussion ensued, and Aamir and Melinda decided they should go outside to my vehicle and Figure Out What Was Wrong. I tagged along behind them. Got out to the car and Melinda told me to pop the hood. "Well see, here's the thing," I explained. "I can pop the hood, but it won't open. I don't know why, but the only way to get my hood to open is to pull the hood-popping lever thingy, then drive the car around for awhile, and at some point the hood magically unlatches." My friends stared at me in a manner that suggested I was clearly not fit to be able to walk the streets unattended. I got in the car, popped the hood, and started the engine, my plan being to drive the car around the block to coax the hood open. Of course, what I failed to consider was the fact that it was already dark out, and without the aid of operable headlights, driving around the block would be a bit of a challenge. But I succeeded, the hood opened, and all was (sorta) well. Aamir and Melinda spent some time contemplating the contents of my engine, discussing in great detail the possible functions of all visible wires and coils, then asked me where my fusebox was located. I, honestly, was not aware that my car had a fusebox, but knew that my brother had once said something about a fuse in my car, so I eagerly offered to go inside and call Teddy, who would surely know the whereabouts of said item. I called my brother's cellphone, and we had this discussion: Me: Hey. Where's my fusebox? I went outside and reported the news, and it was decided that Aamir would tinker with the fusebox whilst Melinda attempted in vain to explain to me how my headlights worked. Given the above set of circumstances, Aamir ended up having to access the fusebox by climbing into the passenger side door, lying with his head on the floormat under the steering wheel and his body stretched across both bucket seats and the middle console, his feet sticking out the door. There was a lot of tinkering on all sides, but the problem of the non-functioning interior lights and locks was eventually attributed to a burned-out fuse. The fact that Melinda and Aamir managed to troubleshoot this problem, as far as I'm concerned, is mind-bogglingly akin to if they had somehow found a cure for Diabetes in my engine block. Still no idea why the headlights don't work, the reigning theory being "they're burned out. go get new ones." I should probably go to AutoZone this weekend and do that. Haven't been able to drive after dark for two weeks.
Teddy: Why?
Me: Cause Melinda and Aamir want to look at it.
Teddy: Again, why?
Me: Cause nothing works inside the car and the headlights don't work.
Teddy: And you're going to fix it?
Me: No. Melinda and Aamir are going to fix it.
Teddy: Are they as good with cars as you are?
Me: Much better.
Teddy: Thank God. The fusebox is under the dashboard, way in the back on the driver's side, and it's really hard to see. You need good light to see what you're doing.
Me: Well. Um. The driver's side door doesn't open, and the interior lights aren't working right now.
Teddy: (laughing his ass off) Good luck, then. *click*
posted by Kate at 8:59 AM link/comments
Four years ago, I was expecting a tax refund. So everything was filed on time, and round about July I began to wonder where the hell my refund was (it really wasn't a great deal of money, but to a 21-year-old college student, $250 is a lot of trips to Taco Bell). Called the IRS and had a conversation that went like this: About 3 weeks later, my refund arrived, except it was somewhere in the neighborhood of $100 instead of the $250 I was expecting. There was a letter enclosed that said, "There was a problem with your refund, and the Internal Revenue Service adjusted the amount returned to you." I thought, in my youthful naivete, that I was entitled to some sort of explanation, so I called the IRS again. I was told by yet another android that (you guessed it!) "there was a problem with your refund," who then refused to offer any further explanation. Ever since then I've been convinced that the IRS is breeding soulless lobotomized customer service representatives in a secret laboratory somewhere. They're all being controlled in a borg-like fashion by an evil non-human creature named Xlixon who lives in a vat of formaldahyde and controls tax returns at whim via strong electrical currents. *sigh* It's really too bad that I'm not entirely delusional. I think I'd be really good at babbling at people on the street about my fantastic governmental conspiracy theories. The market's not real great for street babblers right now, though. Pity. Comment: Name: Pale Blue
Me: Hey. Where's my damn refund? (OK, OK, I didn't curse at the IRS, but I wish I had)
IRS: There was a problem with your refund.
Me: OK. What's the problem?
IRS: There was a problem with your refund.
Me: Yeah, you said that. What's the problem?
IRS: There was a problem with your refund.
Me: Uh...um...er...
IRS: Thank you for calling the Internal Revenue Service. Have a nice day.
Email: paleblue@darkblue.2ndmail.com
All customer service representatives are mindless drones - but they don\'t
breed them that way. They just lobotomise them.
I\'d like to share a story.
My sister is travelling in Thailand at the moment, and when she was planning
her trip, she calculated that she had enough room to take five audio
cassettes with her. I offered to compile a special travelling tape for her,
and I managed to get it finished just before she left.
Sadly, she left it behind.
Happily, I had the address of the hotel she was staying at in Bangkok, though
she was only planning to be there for three nights. So I decided to FedEx the
tape to her - no matter that the cost of postage was about fifteen times the
cost of the tape - I thought it would be fun for her to receive a cassette by
FedEx while staying in a Thai hotel, and that made it worth doing.
So, a few days later, I had a call from FedEx saying that they hadn\'t been
able to deliver it - some problem with the concierge, apparently.
I mailed my sister, who texted me back, asking whether the tape could be sent
to Chiang Mai - the next destination on her journey - and providing the
address of a post office where she hoped to collect it.
FedEx were pretty cool about it, and agreed to forward it on at no extra
cost.
My sister texted me before she left Chiang Mai, saying that the post office
had professed ignorance about the parcel. Not a huge problem, though - she\'d
be back in Chiang Mai in a week, and would collect it then.
A week passed, another message from my sister. Still no parcel.
I phoned FedEx, who told me that, rather than delivering the parcel to Chiang
Mai, they had decided to destroy it instead.
I heard the same story three times that day, from three different lobotomised
\'customer care operatives\' ... FedEx Bangkok called FedEx UK and said they
didn\'t have enough information to deliver the parcel to Chiang Mai (though
what else you would need apart from an address with postcode, I don\'t know).
FedEx UK should have called me to see if I had any further instructions. But
they didn\'t. Then they detroyed the parcel.
I\'m now in the process of claiming back the cost of postage, compensation
for time and trouble on my behalf and my sister\'s behalf, and finally, as a
matter of principle, I\'m claiming back the cost of the envelope I used to
file the claim, the stamp is used to post it, and the cost of photocopying
the fucking waybill.
Bastards.
I can\'t believe that the tape I spent one Sunday afternoon lovingly
recording, and making a glorious travelling-type cover for was carried all
the way to Bangkok by FedEx, only to be destroyed by them.
I wanted to ask them HOW they destroyed it, and what its final days were
like. Did it languish on a dull metal rack in some soulless FedEx hangar near
BKK airport? Did it watch the pickers walking up and down the aisle several
times a day, pulling off parcels, and loading them onto trolleys for
shipment, anxiously waiting for its turn? What did it think when it was,
finally, removed from the shelf? When did it realise that its exciting
journey was at an end?
Trauma.
posted by Kate at 8:15 AM link/comments
Thursday, March 22, 2001
Kate, I'm oddly impressed whenever you post about all the computer stuff you have to know. It's like you know how cars work, or something like that. One of my students right now is studying to take some sort of network certification test and he has to read horrible looking books. One, for example, is only about tcp/ip. That's the whole stupid book. Then he's moving on to a whole book about Windows NT. I was like, "ever thought of just sitting down with a novel?" Because, in my mind, reading is something you ought to do to please yourself and enrich your existence. Sometimes I get students who don't own books. I say, "you'll need to practice speed reading a book at home" and they say, "a book? But I don't own a book!" And then I die inside.
I've been doing my taxes online with H&R Block. There's nothing like a little tax time to make one feel like a complete moron. The accountant they've assigned to me is named Larry and he and I have had a scintillating email conversation about whether I am a resident of Iowa or Ohio. I have moral objections to being classified as an Iowa resident, but no one in the tax world cares. I picture Larry chained to a computer in a distant tax office, forced to review horribly messed up online tax returns attempted by people like me. He's grinding his teeth down to pulp, living off of cold coffee, and he won't see the sun until April 16. I feel bad for Larry and I hope he's getting paid well and I hope someone does his taxes for him. And I hope he owns good books and enjoys reading them.
posted by Jen at 11:08 PM link/comments
i have tried thousands of times to post to the blog. none of them have worked. below is what i wrote yesterday. if it doesnt work this time, im going to Aruba, where nobody mocks me--especially not freeware computer programs.
ok. it took a lot of doing, but i managed to read every single one of the posts that you prolific bastards have vomited onto the blog since i last tread upon these waters (i was promoted to jesus, FYI), and i have to say that jen was seriously misrepresenting the possum. it wasnt what you would call ugly. instead, it was this enormous, sad-looking animal that seemed on the verge of some great insight into the meaning of its life, and then we stumbled into its life and just ruined the whole thing. i would have given it a little loving if i wasnt a nancy boy.
i think the idea of a feral cat is the coolest thing ive ever heard. this is in light of an incident here in the states, in St. Louis, in which a pack of stray (feral) city dogs attacked and devoured a child. people blamed, of all things, THE MOTHER. now, with all due respect to the Offical Blog Mother's Union, i have to say that mothers ride their high horses sometimes (the million mom march?! come the hell on); but i dont think that joe law should have run directly to that poor woman and slathered her with blame just because people cant deal with randomness, or the idea that they havent in fact conquered nature, or the fact that human beings can be prey instead of predators. none of these things were her fault, but this didnt matter to the people of St. Louis. they needed answers, and if you pretend for a moment that answers are food, then that poor mother's head looked like a big, juicy ham to the slavering mob. i say, there need to be more feral animals. people should have to defend themselves from mountain lions between the curb and their cars. polecats should leap at them around every corner. people need to remember that we're still fair game to a lot of hungry animals that are bigger and faster than us. and anyway, think of it--your daily life could be cooler than an episode of Wild Kingdom. you could make that Crocodile Hunter look like the boy in the bubble.
congratulations on the new web site/domain, kate. i hope you dont mind, but i'd rather not have another email address. i already have four active accounts, plus another one i should be using but im not. if you really, really want me to have one, though, i could be convinced to take paully@ cause i dont have an email address with paully on it, and i have plenty of respectable job-type ones.
congratulations also on a (somewhat) successful camping venture. whenever jen and i camp, we bicker about how to set up the tent (it takes longer than 38 seconds), then we make a fire without passing out and falling hands-first into it, and then jen gets naked. at some point in there we cook dinner, too. it's a lot of fun, except for when the lake is behind a green chain link fence and we see seven tube tops between the check-in cabin and our camp site; then it's just another night at Saylorville Lake.
posted by Paully at 9:58 PM link/comments
OK so a couple of minor (constructive) criticisms of the new design..... boing hey hey hey my friend Alan's coming to visit from Ireland today. My horoscope said "you will go out with a bunch of guys you've known for 15 odd years, tell lies, yell abuse at each other, and drink copious quantities of lager and generally have a fantastic time"
a) what happened to my groovy lil "icq online" thingy?
b) shauny's blog link doesn't link to her blog
c) Alex hasn't posted to his blog since he left for Ireland (three days ago) (ok i realise that this isn't a design criticism but i needed to get it out somehow)
and hey kate where's all the other stortroopers? i think we should have like a groovy lil sidebar full of strotroopers and onliney indicatory thingys coz lots of us are on icq.
posted by billyjoe noodle-bob at 9:11 PM link/comments
Div tags are a giant problem when the professor you're working with is insisting you use them in conjunction with the javascript "onmouseover" function in reference to hiding and showing layers. Doesn't work on macs unless they're nested; Explorer gets pissy when you start nesting elements. There's some middle ground. Just takes a while to work out. See, the good thing about my job is that if someone hacks into our server, it ain't my problem. We have loads of programming geeks stored in the basement of the library for that sort of thing.
posted by Kate at 2:58 PM link/comments
kate...div tags aren't much of a problem...now, somebody hacking into your web server and using it to spam America Online members with porn is a problem...and i am currently in the process of hammering my head against the wall trying to figure who has done this and what to do about it...
posted by sean at 12:31 PM link/comments
Welcome back, Sean. Missed you.
posted by Kate at 10:31 AM link/comments
Whiiiiiiiiiine. It's a beautiful sunny day and it's going to be 50 degrees and I have to spend the whole day futzing around with nested div tags so people who have Macintosh computers will be able to use one of my work sites. All I want right now is a long nap outside on a big hammock. Why the hell don't I own a hammock? More importantly, why don't I live somewhere with a reasonably large backyard, suitable for accommodating a big hammock? Cranky, cranky girl today.
Pout.
Mope.
posted by Kate at 10:29 AM link/comments
Wednesday, March 21, 2001
and by the way, I love you all. And secret smoochies to someone who shall remain nameless.
posted by billyjoe noodle-bob at 8:54 PM link/comments
oooh.... this is fun....
posted by billyjoe noodle-bob at 8:51 PM link/comments
By the way, thanks, Kate, for mentioning the SEVEN (7) popup windows I was subjected to when I tried to close the window that that site from the $100,000 Kmart man was referring to..... You know, it appears I may be a little grumpy today... perhaps I had better lighten the mood.... hmmm let me find a link.... hangon
posted by billyjoe noodle-bob at 8:47 PM link/comments
Well Sean - I think I can say from all of us here at sixlayerkate that we have most definitely missed hearing about your life, filled with beautiful, highly intelligent, incredibly successful women, your reading of books to which i cannot pronounce the titles, your academic excellence and your brushes with fame. I hate you It's pissing down with rain I have a hangover from drinking three beers It's still raining Who the hell is Heidegger?
posted by billyjoe noodle-bob at 8:33 PM link/comments
ok, you probably have seen through my lame excuses...actually, i haven;t blogged for a while because i've had to work nearly full time for appliances.com, and i've committed myself to also finish all of the reading this semester before the middle of the semester. my brother came to visit for a little while, as did miguel and frank and i've also had to readjust to brianne's presence. oh boy, it's been rather frustrating. but, things are settling (although i only have one more week before it's paper-writing time), and i finally found some time to blog, although i really should be reading merleau-ponty's Adventures of the Dialectic (which is a really good book about the historical theory of marxism if any of you are interested). i also read all...every single word...of Heidegger's being and time...i can describe this monumental work of philosophical inquiry with one word: Bullshit. but anyway, that's what's up. oh...for any who care, i do have a 4.0 so far from last semester. other not-really-noteworthy incidents: i met rupert g. (from the letterman show) and brianne and i walked past ron howard on the street. i also met the wife of the united nations ambassador from norway. i fixed her computer and talked about mobies with her. that was cool. nothing else of note, though, is happening right now...how'z all of u?
posted by sean at 3:18 PM link/comments
ummm....so, i was kidnapped by...ummm...large, amazonian women with augmented..yes...augmented...very augmented...breasts who wanted to...umm.ahhh..who needed a male with superior deoxyribonucleic acid helixes swimming around his mitochondria so that they could reproduce. i, of course, was the perfect choice for them, and after snatching me away out of my car...no, it was a jet plane, my personal jet plane...they took me into their subacqueous vehicle to their wonderful land called.........Boobamania...and that is where they forced me into horriblly torturous carnal relations with what they called "breeders," who were absolutely gorgeous Amazonian women with great genes. yes, well, Boobamania is located in the center of the earth, and my prison cell was heavily guarded, and it took a while to incapacitate my guards and hitchhike back the earth's surface. but once i did reemerge into the land of the "Sun people" (amazonian term)...uhhh...umm...i ended up in idaho...which is really weird...cause idaho doesn't exist. so, i took up a job as an agent...of...of....of....of ill-mannered clowns and i tried to get them booked at the birthday parties of autistic children and avant-gard film festivals (because who else would put up with an ill-mannered clown)...and it took a while to make money this way...but i made enough money to get a bus back to new york and now here i am...blogging.
i hope you all believe me, because this is what really happened, and that is why i haven;t blogged for a while...
yeah...
posted by sean at 3:08 PM link/comments
Just made the mistake of surfacing from ICQ invisible mode and was quickly accosted by a man whose "about" box in his ICQ profile contained the following line, "Cladded in light, the walk of Life is in darkness and misery. Who will win?" Additionally, this was what he had listed for his homepage. Does anyone else think the ensemble worn by the man in the picture looks just a bit ... I dunno ... Kmart for someone who's purportedly making 6 figures a year?
posted by Kate at 12:58 PM link/comments
Hmm. This Blogmothers Union thing. I feel like an evil corporate CEO running scared. What will this mean to the future of Six-Layer Kate? Are you two Lindas going to be lobbying for health benefits and 401K plans? Next thing you know they'll be asking for shorter BlogDays and profit sharing! Well ... actually ... I'm OK with the profit sharing thing, considering the fact that I can't see a way I'll ever make a profit from this website. Mwahahahaha.
posted by Kate at 11:42 AM link/comments
Hahahahaha! Welcome to the new and improved Six-Layer Kate. Whee. Those of you bloggers who don't look at the page outside of blogger should take a look at the new page here. Everything should be working with the exception of the "bloggers" link above. That's cause I'm going to do a profile page for each and every one of you. So here's your assignment: Write a bio of yourself and email it to me (I'm unashamedly stealing this idea from BillyJoeBlog. Sorry, Bill.) so I can make each of you your own page. I also need to put the stortroopers on here somewhere. More updates later.
posted by Kate at 10:37 AM link/comments
Organization. Not really my biggest strength either (as I'm sure my mother will be quick to note). Although to Bill's credit, he has been saying that we have to organize the details of our summer roadtrip. I think the word "meticulously" was even in there somewhere. I object to this. There should be a bare minimum of organization when it comes to roadtrips. Too much organization leads to disaster, I tells ya. Just look at all those Chevy Chase travel flicks.
posted by Kate at 8:35 AM link/comments
This is really sad. I have to catch a plane in less than 3 hours, and here I am blogging. Two things. Lindathemom - I am delighted to be co-ruler. And don't get me started on Bill's powers of organization - remember that we love our children and want only the best for them. Bill has many, many talents - organization isn't one of them.
posted by lindathemum at 5:53 AM link/comments
I am endlessly amazed by the links billy joe bob is aware of. Someone give this guy an award.
Signs of spring in Iowa: a rabbit skedaddled in front of my car today, partaking in that age-old tradition rabbits have of dancing with death; the 90-day icebergs have been magically replaced by mud that is incomprehensibly deep and muddy; and I fear our neighbors will soon be lighting up their homemade grill, which is half of a keg nailed onto a couple of posts. Yeah. Bring on the Mad Dog 20/20, skewer the possums, and park on the lawn.
posted by Jen at 12:56 AM link/comments
Tuesday, March 20, 2001
oh dear. via shauny
posted by billyjoe noodle-bob at 10:08 PM link/comments
Holly - paying bills? what are bills?
posted by billyjoe noodle-bob at 9:25 PM link/comments
Thanks, mama. *kiss*
posted by Kate at 6:33 PM link/comments
To Lindathemum (co-ruler of the BLOGMOTHERS UNION): Thanks! We know how much we love our dear offspring....someday they will know, too.
posted by Linda at 2:33 PM link/comments
see, I have this odd desire for an email address I can give out professionally and not feel stupid, Tiametdragon and Miasma4 are as good as they go, but lack that "I am amazingly together and appropriate with astounding clerical powers and counseling wisdom" thing. I'm not sure that @sixlayerkate.com really inspries all that much confidence, though, so what the hell. hollybear@ it is.
posted by Holly at 12:30 PM link/comments
What about hollybear@?
posted by Kate at 11:06 AM link/comments
Mike is the god of Midori. Before you get excited and ask his advice, however, I should warn you that he is like the god of the Old Testement, smiting mortals for small offenses and striking fear into an offending world; not sweet Jesus I just wuv ewe so much New Testement hippie boy. his Midori drinks ain't pretty. Nor ugly in a good way, mind you, just in a green way. Melinda, can I get a witness? Bill I gotta warn you, telling us you're mildly competent is like telling Spaniards there's gold in underdeveloped villages (pause while all Spanish visitors write Kate angry messages) - if we believe you we will kidnap you and keep you in our house, driving you to slavishly organise our pantry, pay our bills on time, and plan our vacations.
My e-mail address...damn. I just don't know. holly@ would work... but I should jazz it up perhaps...hollyandthejets@? nonono, how about holly-shesnotamailorderbride@...nope, I'll stick with holly@
posted by Holly at 11:03 AM link/comments
OK. Our account is set up over at sixlayerkate.com, and I'll be moving us later today, after I get home from the design class I'm going to in about an hour. If you try to access this page and get a redirect message ... well, then just redirect. I have a brand new design ready for us, too. I'm so very excited. Yayyyyy.
posted by Kate at 9:40 AM link/comments
We had a possum for awhile that lived under our porch of our Akron home. The landlord set a trap and caught it, so it was hanging around for a day or so in a cage next to the porch. My first thought when I saw it was, "Oh, how cute," and then I got within 3 feet of the cage and the thing started making all sorts of hissing noises and made damn sure I knew that it had teeth. Possum are creepy.
posted by Kate at 8:45 AM link/comments
The more I listen to your blog Kate the more I like you. I came out of Billy Elliot muttering "Bloody Margaret Thatcher". The economic rationalists need to spend some time trying to regain self respect after the only world they know had been snatched from them all in search of a 'new economy'. Grr. I saw Brassed Off on a plane on a trip to Australia. I was on my own which meant that I didn't have to explain to anybody why I was snivelling into my red wine.
On another note your mother loves you . Trust me on this.
posted by lindathemum at 6:40 AM link/comments
Monday, March 19, 2001
Linda, you can definitely be lindathemum@. I'd make my mother lindathemom@, but since she doesn't follow my wonderfully detailed and specific instructions for "how to post to the blog without losing everything in the event that you're using a computer manufactured during the Truman administration," she sits idly by in a non-posting world, and I will be forced to give her the moniker of motherwhodoesntloveme@sixlayerkate.com. What I'm saying here, mama, is that you need to start copying your posts to the clipboard before you try to post them. That way, if it doesn't work, you can just right-mouse-click and hit "paste" and -- voila! -- you can try again. As for the Midori, I'm at a loss. To be honest, I'm kind of an oaf when it comes to mixed drinks. I can make a decent bloody mary, but that's the lot. (Feeling the need to type in a British accent tonight; Jen and I just finished watching "Brassed Off." Bloody Tories. Bollocks to them!) Paul, you glorious alcohol guru, what say you?
posted by Kate at 11:53 PM link/comments
Paully and I went camping last summer at Saylorville Lake. We were foolishly thinking that we could camp NEAR this lake, given that the brochure was raving about the whole thing. We got there and discovered that the park people, in their infinite paranoia, had erected a tall chain-link fence between the campground and the lake. So, in reality, we camped near a chain link fence and looked longingly at the forbidden lake. It wasn't quite what we had in mind.
About an hour ago, roommate James dashed upstairs to announce that a "large strange creature" was on our porch. Ravenous for something out of the ordinary, we all dashed down and got to see a huge ugly possom. And I mean huge and ugly in the most sincere sense. It was some sort of granddaddy possom who was considering the possibility of inviting himself into the apartment for chips and beer. It stared at us and we stared at it, then it lumbered off to grander parts of Iowa.
posted by Jen at 11:52 PM link/comments
On the subject of green drinks: don't.
posted by billyjoe noodle-bob at 11:17 PM link/comments
So here's the thing boys and girls (note political correctness - I can call you all boys and girls becaues I'm older than you). Some of us might not have noticed since we were away in the woods, getting cold, endangering the native fauna with our savage trained attack dogs and cats, drinking red wine - but Saturday was St. Patrick's Day. So Mr. Grumpy (McKowalski the Polish Prince), and I had a little party. We (well actually he - I had to work - spending Saturday explaining to people exactly how to use a search engine), cooked wonderful Irish fare - potato soup, Irish stew and soda bread. So when the Polish Prince was doing the shopping he thought that we needed some green drinks - we can't have green beer because who would want it, we can't have Peppermint Schnapps because of an unfortunate experience I had with it many years ago (do you remember the drive from Davidson to Claude's house Bill with your mother groaning for eight hours?). So we ended up with a bottle of Midori. The stuff is dreadful. We have tried all of the drinks listed on the little pamphlet - so what do you suggest?
We are going to Santa Fe on Wednesday to visit with friends. I am afraid we are turning into middle aged Americans - off on the little spring trip. But to tell the truth I am a little tired of the grey, melting snow. Will report on the wilds of New Mexico on my return.
And Bill - this picture of you as Mr. Organized - I'm having trouble getting used to it - but I am prepared to take your work for it. After all mothers basically just think their children are wonderful and capable of anything right? Right - I believe anything you say Bill.
Katie - can I be Lindathemum@sixlayerkate? Please? Sounds like fun to me.
posted by lindathemum at 9:01 PM link/comments
I made that phrase up, mostly because I love nothing more in the world than to exaggerate. Hyperbole makes the world go round. Hmmm. Keeping title in car. Intriguing idea, but what if my car suddenly explodes? Then I won't have the title. Not that I'd be able to find it otherwise ...
posted by Kate at 7:47 PM link/comments
No. I'm saying that I'm the Ultimate Woodsman (hangon who made that phrase up? I'm not the ULTIMATE woodsman - what's the word for about eight million below PENultimate?), I'm saying (primarily to my mother, who doubts me) that I know how to pitch a tent and don't get lost very often. By the same token, I kept the title to my car in the glove compartment, inside my owners manual :P
posted by billyjoe noodle-bob at 7:44 PM link/comments
Wait a minute, Bill. Are you trying to tell me that you're the Ultimate Woodsman because you used to own a 4 x 4? There are countless women in this city driving Range Rovers who have never so much as seen a range, much less roved upon it. This is, of course, coming from a woman who drives a Firebird and lives in an area where she rarely gets to drive it above 35 miles an hour. Never mind.
posted by Kate at 7:34 PM link/comments
This pretty well sums up my life: Last week I had to go to Hell (read as the Ohio Bureau of Motor Vehicles) to get my registration renewed (Ohio has this charming law where your registration expires on your birthday. "Happy birthday from the state of Ohio! To celebrate, go stand in line at the BMV!"). I couldn't remember whether I had to haul along my title and proof of insurance, so I was looking for the appropriate documents. Dug up my insurance card, but couldn't find my car title anywhere. Looked high and low, almost went insane, berated myself to a near tearful state. Flash to today ... I had this moment of pure unKatelike-ness a bit ago where I decided, "Hey. Instead of waiting until April 14 to do them, why don't I do my taxes tonight, thereby saving myself a lot of stress in three weeks?" So I went to grab my tax returns, which I thought I'd left on my desk, and guess what. Can't find 'em. Looked high and low, almost went insane, berated myself to a near tearful state. Went upstairs and starting rifling through my backpack in a last-ditch effort to locate the things. Reached in, felt a handful of papers, pulled them out ... lo and behold! .. came up with not my tax returns, but my car title. So now I'm on a mission to think of some other form of paperwork I've misplaced. If I look for alternative paperwork, my tax returns are bound to crop up.
posted by Kate at 7:06 PM link/comments
Just because I happen to prefer five star hotels with spas (jacuzzis) and fluffy white gowns (robes), doesn't mean that I don't know how to rough it. I will remind you all that I have in the past owned my own personal four wheel drive and used it in the manner for which it was intended.
posted by billyjoe noodle-bob at 5:35 PM link/comments
Mum - bleeeeaagggghhhhhhh Kate et al - "Bachelor Party"
posted by billyjoe noodle-bob at 5:29 PM link/comments
Bill - You never get lost? You know all about how to put up a tent? Remind me again about the last time you spent any time in a tent. Just wondering.
posted by lindathemum at 5:23 PM link/comments
You know, I'd never before heard the term "buck's night" before Bill said it to me last week, and I find it all a bit unsettling. Calls to mind a bunch of guys making horrific snorting noises and searching for mating partners ... er ... wait ... that's actually pretty accurate, isn't it? The best part is that Bill seems to think taking me along for this little testosterone party is a good idea. He swears there will be other women in attendence. No, Bill, we have no feral cats to be concerned with, and bringing domestic animals into state parks is perfectly acceptable, although I do question Jen's decision to bring Neko. No matter. You never get lost, huh? Hey, housemates, what say we play a little game when Bill gets here called "Drop the Australian Off in the Middle of Appalachia." We'll see how not lost you are in the face of a herd of backwoods West Virginians. *giggle*
posted by Kate at 4:39 PM link/comments
OK so here's the thing - firstly, let me tell you that in Australia, taking a dog or a cat anywhere NEAR a state park is well nigh a capital offense... did any of you think, even for a second, of the possible dangers to native fauna caused by bringing two highly adapted predators into their immediate vicinity? OK maybe you guys don't have the same problems we do with feral cats and such things..... i shall remove myself from my high horse. In related news, I am increasingly worried that these are the very same people who I'm planning on going white water rafting with in June. Let me warn all of you. I have two father figures in my life. One was in the Australian Army, and the other one's an engineer who gets around with the handle "Mr Grumpy". I do not do things like in closing, YAY for sixlayerkate.com and i want billyjoebob@, and I hope all of you get your act together by the time of the rafting trip, because I have to be in Maine the day after it finishes, and any delays like that are going to prevent me from getting to the strip club for my friend Phil's buck's night.
a) get lost
b) forget my jacket or indeed anyone elses (although Steve, that was some groovy Macguyver action with the blankie)
c) Take more than the required 38 seconds to put up a tent
I also (through the virtue of working at Timberland for a season) have more foul weather gear than you can shake a standard sized down filled stick at. (hey kate should i bring my sleeping bag?)
posted by billyjoe noodle-bob at 4:01 PM link/comments
All right, so the camping trip... Jen and Melinda and I left later than we had expected to on Friday because we were waiting for KateT (Melinda's best friend from high school) to arrive from Columbus so she could join us. Fortunately, we thought, others had gone on ahead of us to secure the keys to our rented cabin. The only stickler here was that we had to pick up the keys before 9:30 p.m. when the office closed. Tony, Matt (Tony's brother), and Steve left around 3:30 to make the three-hour drive, thereby giving themselves more than enough time to secure said keys. The second load consisting of Holly, Aamir, and PumaTheDog was just about to embark from our house when the phone rang. It was Tony's crew, reporting that there had been some sort of truck accident in Erie, PA. Apparently, a large vehicle carrying hazardous waste had overturned, thereby dumping its contents onto the highway and necessitating the calling in of HazMat teams to clean up. The TonyMobile had been stuck in traffic for hours and was planning a detour. No worries, however, they assured us, they'd get to the campground well before 9:30. Our crew left headquarters around 8:00 armed with Jen's less-than-reliable Honda, NekoTheCat, and my portable CD player to compensate for the fact that Jen's car has no radio. More accurately, Jen's car is missing a substantial portion of its dashboard. I had gotten next to no sleep the night before due to stabbing pains in my back from my little inline skating spill and due to the fact that Mike slept through his alarm, necessitating his coworkers at Starbucks to begin calling the house every 5 minutes beginning at 5 a.m. Therefore, I determined shortly after we embarked that I should spend the drive sleeping in preparation for what would surely be an evening of Crazy Fun in the Woods. I entered a very near coma, emerging only when I felt the car slowing. I woke to find myself in Jamestown, New York, in a car filled with 3 grumpy women and a nervous cat. I looked at my watch. "Hey, guys?" I inquired, "If we left the house at 8, how come it's midnight and we're not there?" Apparently, in my unconscious state, I had completely missed the part where Pennsylvania had elected to close several exits along the highway and reroute traffic through the Most Inconvenient Detour Ever. After making it through the detour, everyone was starving, so Jen had pulled off in search of sustenance. We made it to a Burger King only to discover that the only bit open was the drive-thru. For normal people, this wouldn't be a problem, but we are not normal people. One of the other charming quirks of Jen's car is its driver-side window's inability to open, thereby making drive-up-window communication an impossibility. Jen decided that we should simply walk through the drive-thru. Fine. After confusing the hell out of the drive-thru worker and wading through the six-inch-deep puddle of melted snow, sleet, and various car fluids that was creating a near-moat situation next to the cashier window, we hopped back into the car and headed toward the campground. It wasn't long before we found the campground, and there was much rejoicing as we passed the front entrance. What we didn't anticipate was that we were entering a state park roughly the size of Ghana. This was further complicated by our lack of specific instructions. Namely, this was the information we had: "We're going camping in Allegany State Park and we're staying in a cabin." After tooling around the deserted, winterwonderland, dead creepy park for the better part of an hour, all the while getting stuck in snow and holding our breath whilst Jen's car stalled repeatedly and chronically exhibited symptoms of a flooded engine, we managed to find the main park office and park police station. Jen pulled the car up to a quaint little porch area off the back of the building. The porch's attached door opened, and Steve emerged. Steve, who had packed to leave for the trip in the greatest of haste, had neglected to bring along his coat. In an attempt to negate the 15-degree weather, he had decided to take Tony's mexican blanket, cut a hole in the middle of it, and stick his head through. So as we pulled up to the building, out of the darkness emerged our roommate clad in what appeared to be a very festive poncho. I immediately began to worry as he approached the car. "So here's the thing," said our colorful roommate as I rolled down the passenger-side window. "We didn't get here until 10:30, so we missed getting the key. We went out and got a hotel room, so some people can stay there, but some of us are going to camp outside because Aamir has Puma and she's not allowed in the hotel." Much groaning and cynical laughter ensued, and it was eventually decided that Melinda, Holly, Matt, and I (who are all self-proclaimed wimps) would spend the night in the hotel while Aamir, Tony, Jen, Steve, and KateT (who are much more predisposed to ridiculous activities like sleeping out-of-doors in near-zero temperatures) would stay behind and sleep in the tent. We then decided to stop by the campsite to ensure that all those slumbering in the tent were well prepared before we headed off to our happy, warm hotel room. Two of our three cars were about to pull away from the main office when a giant SUV appeared behind us, bedeckled in flashing red lights. Its driver leaned his bloated head out the window and screamed, "STOP!" We stopped. Turned out to be one of the members of Allegany State Park's fine law enforcement division, who was very concerned that we go inside and provide our names to the psuedo-dispatcher inside. Steve and Tony went inside to handle the details while we waited in the car. A few seconds later, from the seat behind me, I heard KateT say with disgust, "God. What's that smell?" A car-wide investigation revealed that Neko, who had been away from anything resembling a litter box for more than 5 hours, had ... er ... lost control of herself, thereby soiling not only the car seats and floor, but also many of KateT's and Melinda's personal belongings. Steve reappeared and was assigned the task of finding some source of running water inside the building. He was directed to the restroom inside via the following conversation. Steve: Hi. Excuse me. Is there a restroom we could use? Eventually, everything was scrubbed clean and we made our way to the campsite, where we experienced a scenario consisting of the following elements: The four of us less-hearty individuals eventually packed up and headed out to the hotel, which turned out not to be a hotel at all, but rather a motel. A motel called the "Turo-Tel Motel," yet. Inside our rented room we found not one but three varieties of wood paneling on the walls. The room also included (for the astonishing price of $75 per night) two beds with pronounced spring problems, a view of the next-door-neighbor's trash pile, and a television with no discernable ability to produce a picture. In fact, when Matt tried to turn it on, it played a radio station. To its credit, however, the heater worked wonderfully, and I quickly rendered myself unconscious. Saturday morning arrived, and Holly, Matt, and I reluctantly dragged ourselves from beneath the covers after Melinda threatened us all bodily harm if we didn't wake up. We bid farewell to the Turo-Tel and headed back to the state park, which was remarkably easy to navigate with the aid of daylight. Before long, we had found our friends, who were alive, albeit cold and a bit harried-looking. A cabin was secured, and it was a lovely, cozy, one-room abode. A bit crowded, but damn comfy. We spent the afternoon sleeping, reading, and playing cards at intervals. I punctuated my afternoon by consuming a large quantity of red wine, which left me wonderfully warm and happy, if not a bit tipsy. The rest of the trip consisted of eating, drinking, walking, and general merriment. Long story short, it was well worth Friday's aggravation. Hooray.
Pseudo-Dispatcher: (sigh) Yes. Down the hall and to your right. (angry stare)
Steve: I'm sorry. We'll be out of your way in just a minute. It's just that the cat had a bit of an accident in the car.
Pseudo-Dispatcher: (dripping sarcasm) Right. Of course. You brought your cat.
1. Aamir attempting in vain to set up a tent that had seen many, many better days.
2. Puma running like a dog possessed around the campsite, effectively knocking over Aamir's tent on each of her circular laps around the fire.
3. A good deal of frozen rain falling from the sky.
4. Steve suggesting that now would be a good time for everyone to start drinking.
posted by Kate at 2:38 PM link/comments
I do believe I've violated one of the supreme rules of womanhood: Never buy cheap nylons. I picked up these $2 Wal-Mart opaque hose the other day, and they're so shabby that the ankle seam on my boots has snagged them beyond all future wearability. Shame on me.
posted by Kate at 12:27 PM link/comments
I was just over at the deli, standing around waiting for them to produce my sandwich, and before me on the counter was a giant vat of Slim Jims. Said vat featured a picture of their spokesman, Randy "Macho Man" Savage, who was looking menacing whilst eating beef jerky and being flanked by a blonde bimbo. But as I looked closer, I realized that Macho Man seemed a tad familiar, and then it hit me: He looks astoundingly like Melinda's dad. Come to think of it, he sounds like him, too. Full beard, receding hairline, ponytail, snug clothing, growling sort of voice. Melinda, has your father ever requested anyone "snap into a Slim Jim?"
posted by Kate at 12:05 PM link/comments
Grrrr. My hatred of geocities knows no boundaries right now.
posted by Kate at 10:52 AM link/comments
Listen up, y'all. Update your bookmarks, change your links, yank that dusty box of old knick knacks from the closet and toss