Jen, I'm glad to hear that you survived your foray into the great West, and were not done in by sunburns, windstorms, or pockets of ammunition-stockpiling militia members. I heard y'all have a lot of those in your neck of the woods. Have fun not wasting space in Denver. Hooray for mormonism-drenched caves. Holly, who just moved to a new apartment across the street from me (we work in the same office; we live on the same street. in some cultures, i think we're technically recognized as married.), has downstairs neighbors who are drenched in mormonism. You know, young blonde couple with young blonde children. The patriarch recently got sent off on a six-week-long business thing, so the wife packed up the kids and raced home to Salt Lake City for the duration of his absence, presumably terrified of living in the wilds of Cleveland without adult male protection. Nat, the congressman I'm writing the site for is Kucinich. He was elected mayor of Cleveland back in the 70s, but then got ousted from office after he refused to sell Cleveland's public power system to Giant Corporate Bastards. Some Clevelanders hate him for this; I think he rocks. Judge for yourself here. And now, a small wedding-related rant: If any of you someday find that you're an old, bitter, nasty woman, and you have a granddaughter who's getting married, here are some pointers: 1. Your granddaughter and her fiance spent 20 minutes in the flatware aisle of Bed Bath and Beyond carefully discussing and ultimately adding this to their registry. This involved a great deal of thought and compromise. You should therefore refrain from insisting that the couple remove the aforementioned item from their registry just because you saw this on a home shopping channel and purchased it because you "liked this one better than the one they picked out." The flatware you chose is hideous, and the bride and groom will return it at their first opportunity. 2. Do not contact the bride and request that you be permitted to purchase an ice sculpture of an angel to be used as a decorative item at the wedding reception. The bride, unlike you, is not an 8th-grade dropout who considers Hummel figurines and giant, elaborately-dressed porcelain dolls to be themes in home decor. Speaking of ice sculptures, though, the bride does kind of dig this idea. 3. Do not request, in melodramatic tones, that the bride and groom use 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 as a reading in their wedding ceremony. The bride and groom are well aware that love is patient, kind, non-boastful, does not forget to lower the toilet seat, and shows willingness to compromise on pizza toppings. However, the bride and a slab of sheet rock are about equal in their reverence for religion, so there will be no bible shit at her wedding. Knowing this, when the bride tells you that she doubts she will use said bible passage in her ceremony, you should not glare at her and hiss that if she doesn't comply to your request ("I'm your grandmother! And this is my only request!"), you will "put [the bride] on a guilt trip for the rest of my life." The bride does not care. You already had your wedding. If you don't like what the bride decides, you can bite the bride.
Well! It's nice to see everyone here. Welcome, Becky.
posted by Kate at 10:53 AM link/comments
