Ollie Williams sez: WHO WANTS THIS CAT?? *
Attention, Clevelandites:
Some fucknut dumped a couple of kittens in the woods here at the Nature Center. Kitten #1 is in foster care, but Kitten #2, who is approximately 3 weeks old and had not yet been weaned at the point of abandonment, is in need of a good home. Kitty is black/brown/tortoise-shell in color and very, very sweet. He'll need some hands-on care at first, as he's currently being hand-fed by one of the wonderful employees here. Said employee has called round to the local shelters only to experience the following recurring conversation.
Her: I have this kitten. Will you take it?
Shelter: Ha ha ha ha ho ho hohoho. A CAT? No.
Given my obsession with affection for all critters great and small, I would happily take the kitten into my care except for the fact that bringing another cat into our fourfold feline brood would no doubt cause a revolt of seismic proportions ultimately resulting in shredded furniture and my clothing soaked in a few quarts of Azrael piss. I'm not exaggerating. When Nimbus first moved in with us, Azrael expressed her displeasure by meandering over to TV and peeing on the Playstation 2. The Playstation survived; Azrael narrowly escaped death, but only after I hid all the kitchen knives in the house and shot Marc with a tranquilizer dart.
Anyway, anybody want a kitten? He's cute, and taking him in will make you a hero. Who doesn't want to be a hero?
* Reference: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-WC7ujCoDxU
posted by Kate at 10:05 AM link/comments
